Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Urban rockpool

Somewhere to eat your chips
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A garden pond that looks and behaves like a seaside rockpool. Ideally it should support representatives from a diverse cast of animal phyla including crabs, anemones, starfish, whelks and other seaside favourites.

Small print: A decontextualised rock pool is not necessarily an ecologically stable proposition. An as-yet undefined nutrition supplement should be added if an authentic effect is required to persist for more than, say, 48 hours. Oxygen/salinity/temperature control may also enhance the experience.

EnochLives, Jul 27 2014

Rock music http://www.qacousti...or-rock-speaker.htm
[pocmloc, Jul 29 2014]

Seagull MP3 https://www.freesou...kiddink/packs/3600/
[pocmloc, Jul 29 2014]

portable rock pool- take it with you! http://cf1.nurtures...5598_af7a5f337b.jpg
[xandram, Jul 30 2014]

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       Now I just want to turn my garden pond into a rockpool.   

         

         

       [+]
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 27 2014
  

       Presumably a large undeground tank and flushing system would simulate the daily tide refilling and cleaning the pool?
pocmloc, Jul 28 2014
  

       A garden rock pool is certainly ecologically stable. By garden rock pool I mean "hole with rocks in the yard". By stable I mean there is stuff alive in there. Diverse - check. Phyla - at least 4 on a bad day.   

       Now if you want the starfish, whelks, mermaids and other expensive fancy trappings when you are 3 hours from the coast well then bust out your wallet. But what about the indigenes? The unappreciated critters next door? The bird in hand? Enoch: open your mind and enhance your experience of your semianaerobic teeming pit of Life!   

       Plus you do not have to explain that it was supposed to the the foundation for a basketball hoop but you got lazy.
bungston, Jul 29 2014
  

       One important point. If you are going to use it as a location for eating chips, you need seagulls. Chips taste better by the sea, but 78% of this effect is due to the noise of seagulls in the background.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2014
  

       That's not a problem in most inland urban areas in the UK, [MB]
pocmloc, Jul 29 2014
  

       Really? All we get are pigeons, grouse and pheasants.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2014
  

       In that case it is possible to purchase weatherproof loudspeakers disguised as rocks, and I am sure there are downloadable mp3s of seagull noises available.
pocmloc, Jul 29 2014
  

       It also needs brine with a dead fish thrown in, the sound of waves, and a sniper hired to hit you with bird poop at some random time every year.
Voice, Jul 30 2014
  


 

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