h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Imagine you've had a hard day, feeling
very negative and depressed. You go
home and flop down on the couch. FIbers
embedded in the fabric are activated by
your weight, and sense body temperature,
heart rate, skin moisture, and
restlessness. Based on a ratio of these
factors, it chooses
music and volume level
to make you feel better/happier, based on
your most played songs, genres, and an
analysis of the intensity of the music. For
me, listening to "the right song" can do
wonders for a bad mood, and can even
make you cry under the right
circumstances. If it senses you've fallen
asleep, it will lower the music and choose
some soothing ambient wave crashings or
fields of grass in the wind to put you at
ease.
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Annotation:
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doesn't rise to allow you to vacuum more easily then? |
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there's something wrong with your title. |
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Generally I wear too many articles of clothing to have my chair even touch my skin. |
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Can you set your ambient soothing music to Led Zeppelin's Kashmir? |
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Perfect furniture for the church of no pants. |
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<obligatory "When I First Read This" anno>
When I first read this I thought it was about those chairs that assist the elderly and infirm up and out of the seat. |
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A chair that makes you cry? I think the Spanish Inquisition used those. Or maybe it was the dentist's waiting room. |
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How about a chair with a TV remote buiilt into it that senses when I am disgusted with what I am watching and changes the channel to find something interesting and entertaining... oh, wait. I forgot it's television we're talking about. Sorry.
<aside - is this a rant or a WIBNI? -aside> |
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/can even make you cry under the right circumstances/ |
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I invariably start blubbering uncontrollably whenever I hear Baby Got Back. |
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No helium in this idea? No ropes and pulleys? Not even a trebuchet? |
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I'm officially sticking a croissant on your ceiling. Now you find a way to get up there. |
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You need self-immolating furniture [BrauBeaton]. |
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But that's only when applied to a very specific part of their anatomy. |
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