h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Mobley phonio is undubitably grady
revolutio for communicado. In
emergentode or frightly dangerbus,
mobley phonio enabley invaluably
telecommunicado with policey person or
ambulancio, or even fireperson or
coastiguard.
But, kindly folkpersons, mobley phonio on
carriagetrain or in restaurode
is
hugenessly annoyo. Loudly spoking
annoyo peoplode, with "I'm on the
carriagetrain dearperson, anticipode
homewarden in threety mintibums".
Honstibode! It's enough to drive you
insanimate.
Solutio presento! MaxCo Communibold
Technologio presents the "Unwiniser
Filterbode Radiophonic Interferoden".
Simply flibbet the discreedly congealed
switchyplate, and all telecommunicatios
within a sixty metral diametric are
renderized into purish Unwinese. All
conversatio soonly decease, with muchly
perplextude all round, and then blissy
silencemode restored to your carriagetrain
journey or restaurode experience. Deep
joy.
Stanley Unwin, and Unwinese, rarefacty dialecto.
http://en.wikipedia...ey_Unwin_(comedian)
Deep joy. [MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007]
Baked Radiophonic Interferodens
http://en.wikipedia...i/Cell_phone_jammer
[mylodon, Dec 12 2007]
[Zen_tom]'s Unwinbodi spik
Unwiniser
[theleopard, Dec 12 2007]
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Annotation:
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WIFRT, I thought, what is this gobbledegook? But with a little concentration, it's actually easy to understand.
Of course, audio translation on the fly is verging towards magic, although it is word-for-word and not context-dependent. (Not to mention the dubious legality of a thing such as this...) |
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Well it has got the jammers, but where are the bees? |
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Why have I never heard of Unwin? This is very much the sort of thing I've heard of, but I haven't. |
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From the link: "Some time in the 60s, there was an American who was campaigning against animal nudity, and came to Britain to further his cause. He was invited to appear on a current affairs programme Tonight(?), and was interviewed by Unwin. Unwin started off with intelligible English and gradually slid over into Unwinese." Brilliant. |
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Jim Davidson thought he was great so used to invite him on his show far too often. He did the same with Burt Kwok. |
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Aaaaah, I thought that was really funny, but then a wave of criticality and negativity broke over me, and now I can only see baked goods everywhere, and not a scrap of original thought. |
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So I'm going to give you a bone. |
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Some perplexitude has been lifted, and with it my bone. |
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//Why have I never heard of Unwin?// |
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<grumpy old man>
That's because he was a talented entertainer, not a celebrity. There's a difference.
</gom> |
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Oh woeful distrupset! Deep gratimost
to [theleopody] for weblinky to [zoney-
tim]'s Unwiniser. Much hugemoist
creditation to [zoney-tim] - he's
anticipoded in centrally essences the
conceptibum of automotio translifold
into Unwinese, therefordly makey my
idealy partimost redundo. |
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Howevermost, the presentnow idealy is
deeply for the porpoise of preventy
conversatingles rather than enhancio
much securisecret communibolds. |
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And [mylodentry], deep thankly also -
moistly graciousfold. |
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Deep joy. O, yes. Still - magicko technibodely |
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Ut-whay am-ay i-ay issing-may? |
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"Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!" |
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My favority part is the mintibum. If only! |
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//Still - magicko technibodely// |
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If I may parrotface Arthstroder C.
Clarkey, "All sufficely advancimoe
technibodely visipops as to magicko.".
The technibodely in the Unwiniser
Filterbode Radiophonic Interferoden is
muchmorely advancimoe, but defmostly
not magicko. Perllow me to explify. A
broadlyband scanntenna receptacle
intercopes the incomely radiophony
wavicles. Delicute intrimost
muchhastily micropredecessor
deconvolutes the wavicles, and
sophistimated speaky-understandy-
softprogramme regnifies the wordles.
Muchly ingenextreme algorithmimic
then substifies and transposits the
releficant syllabubs, and the outsending
of this is sent to a speaky-
synthetimouther. Finally stepwise,
synthetomouthed speakies are
transradiophonically re-radimitted at a
greatly muchmore highly signy
strongth, so swampy origibost wavicles
and - Violanty! - muchly annoyo person
earifies only purish Uniwinese. |
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No magicko. Battriflies not includy. |
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But what if it turns out to be a Boojum ? |
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If you're spikechasey Snarks, bestermost
to resting your mobley phonio at
domestibode. |
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Deep joy! Much wonderment at how pedantpickypeoplelollies reactifcate? |
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i once saw a diagram of a visual transform repeatedly applied to a picture; the first transform looked like ////// visual noise, a few more transforms there was an array of pictures # like the source picture; a few more transforms remade the original picture |
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if perhaps a person could find a tolerable version then hear that representation |
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