h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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I got all wet waiting for the bus this morning, because every one of our five umbrellas is under my wife's desk at work. I'd buy another, but if I had a million they would all end up there anyway.
Here's why it isn't a rant; I was thinking: What if I had some sort of umbrella she was embarassed to
carry, but I wasn't? The problem is that while I might not want to carry a bright pink umbrella with My Little Ponies all over it, there is no equivalent for just dudes and not ladies. Yes, the dudes are now the ones with the strict gender construct.
But anyway, my company will print your huge smiling likeness across the top of the umbrella, along with the text "I'm this guy [img] Or an umbrella thief".
Hooters Umbrella
http://www.hootersg...spx?webitem_seq=646
[MisterQED, Nov 15 2007]
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Or you could integrate a saline spray so that any steel would rust away. Oh, steal. I see. Good [+]. |
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Put some boobies on that 'brella. Oooo...how about one that makes a farting sound every few seconds, that'd keep the wife away from it. |
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+ very cute, maybe some fake rips and grease stains to go along with your photo. |
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Would your wife steal an umbrella made from duct tape? |
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How about one sponsered by Hooters?
Send them a note, they might make it for you, or it may already exist. Or how about one that opens with a key? I was going to say combination, but she'd just ask for that. |
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Just put holes in it with a little lever that you can pull to cover all the holes. She'll never figure it out.. When she says, why does that umbrella have holes in it? You just say, cause it's a leafbrella dear... what's for dinner? |
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According to the Hooters link, they also do
pre-school tee-shirts. Does that strike
anyone else as sick? |
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The danger with putting holes in the umbrella is that she'd throw it out because it's broken. |
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Unless you cover the holes with duct tape. |
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I'm sure there are a few companies in this vein, Trojan Condoms is the other I thought of. |
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Nobody would want to steal an umbrella made one out of lead. |
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Get an umbrella that says "Does this umbrella make my butt look huge?" all over it. Guaranteed she'll never, ever use it for anything other than beating you about the head and shoulders, or maybe fishing a lost earring from under the fridge, where it will come out all covered in dust and food particles and dried fridge sweat. |
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