Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Almost as great as sliced bread.

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Uncle Jonah's Fish and Chips

minor prophet chastises wayward masses while serving tasty chow
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Start with an old school bus. Paint bus like giant fish. Remove all seats, put solar panels on the roof, add extra batteries for electrical storage. Front half of bus becomes living area for Jonah, haplessly swallowed by leviathan. Back half becomes fish and chips restaurant complete with freezers and fryers. Fish and chips are sold at festivals, etc.

The chastisement/ideological lecturing comes in with how the bus is built. Used fry grease is converted to biodiesel to move the bus. Solar panels are green. Fryers are heated with methane, produced on board by decaying organic waste. Every order of fish and chips comes wrapped in a piece of newspaper, "Uncle Jonah's Diatribe," detailing the self-reliant systems of the bus/restaurant on the one side, and haranguing against pollution of waters on the other. A message from the deep.

Atone for anti-ecological sins with a little malt vinegar.

Mungo, Mar 12 2004

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       You're gonna burn (those fries), dude.
dpsyplc, Mar 12 2004
  

       whatastrangeperson dislikes
whatastrangeperson, Mar 14 2004
  

       Makes me hungry.
Native Dancer, Mar 14 2004
  

       When's this coming to my town?
oatcake, Mar 14 2004
  

       Do they serve albatross too?
DrCurry, Mar 14 2004
  

       If you're looking to expand your Biblical business, you should have Moses' Burnt Bushes (those whole onions deep-fried).
oatcake, Mar 14 2004
  

       Wow, think of the industrial sprawl it will take to build this bus...
RayfordSteele, Mar 14 2004
  

       Mmmm! Tasty!
DrBob, Mar 16 2004
  

       Patio tubs containing gourds to keep the sun off.
egbert, Mar 16 2004
  

       Quite right [Toadinnov], everybody should know that a whale is not a fish: it's an insect.
Gordon Comstock, Mar 16 2004
  

       Mmmm... vinegar...
SterlingShadows, Mar 16 2004
  

       Cod? MMMMMM!
The Kat, Mar 16 2004
  

       whale-come to the Dutchess County Fair
joking victim, Mar 16 2004
  

       serve condiments in gourds - good idea, egbert. It is a ridiculous tale, Toadinnov, but then this is a ridiculous planet.
Mungo, Mar 16 2004
  

       will there be brown sauce instead of vinegar in the Broxburn-Armadale-Edinburgh triangle?
suctionpad, Mar 18 2004
  

       I assume you wouldn't sell cod or haddock from this chippy van <stern look>. They're being fished to extinction because people are too lazy to accept the notion of eating other types of fish.
squeak, Mar 18 2004
  

       As much as I hate religous rhetoric before, while, or after I eat, I think I MIGHT partake if its better than the local athiest fried seafood-eatery.
Letsbuildafort, Mar 18 2004
  

       Storage requiremtents would be limited as you would only need two loaves and five fish to feed everyone.
GenYus, Mar 18 2004
  

       Fish and chips as a religion ? Never thought of that.
python, Mar 18 2004
  

       Sparkling wine and unleavened bread and butter?
FarmerJohn, Mar 19 2004
  

       [Lbaf] It's not religious though. The rhetoric being spouted is about ecological issues, as far as I can tell. Probably run by one of those indian-cotton-trousered, carefully-dreadlocked psuedo-hippies who plague my summer days by playing the bongos on the island near my house.
squeak, Mar 19 2004
  

       Wow man, like this bus has got the wildest krill-ian aura.
Has anyone in there seen Nemo?
  
      
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