h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Several elements to this:
Firstly, take the Sound Of Music and transpose the melodies
up seven octaves so that on the whole they are audible to
dogs but not humans.
Secondly, go through the Sound Of Music and note,
shoehornistically if necessary, every instance of smell.
Give each character
a distinctive smell and bottle it. Pour
essence of Julie Andrews into an oil burner, along with
roses and whiskers on kittens and the like. Cover the
burners in flaps controlled by a keyboard, whose keys are
marked accordingly. Invent a taxonomy for the musical
which works like a musical scale, then operate it using
paper tape or punch cards. An odour organ, in other
words.
Thirdly, take the actual film of 'The Sound Of Music', make
it black and white and grainy, change the aspect ratio and
reduce it to sixteen frames a second. Put captions in and
make it silent to human ears. Accompany it with dramatic
silent film style piano music at lower volume than the high
intensity of the ultrasonics, so that the sound of piano
music is much quieter to the dogs than the higher pitch
real sound track for canines.
Make it easy for the dogs to escape.
I reckon you could cure cancer with this one.
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Annotation:
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Time scale problems. It was hinted at it with the screen frame rate change. Smell isn't a sharp it's more like terrain with a few cliffs (wave fronts). |
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It would be good to have a popable volatile bubble so the smell can spread but only scents on command. Various bubble containers various queueable scents. |
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// I reckon you could cure cancer with this one. // |
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No, but you might cause a few suicides. |
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Still, trying to do something nice for dogs, so [+]. |
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Loose the dogs of Warner Bros. |
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I would have thought that a canine odour symphony would just consist of an endless array of other dogs arses. |
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// an endless array of other dogs arses. // |
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That would be the House of Commons, then. |
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