h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Many of the images of UFOs turn out to be pics of
saucepan
lids. These are easily detected as fakes on closer
examination.
UFO Saucepan Lids have all of the additional detail
required to make them become more convincing as extra
terrestrial vehicles, but without affecting their ability
to
perform their original kitchen cooking appliance
function. These are all available in a variety of
permutations.
From basic research, there seems to be a few features
that
authenticate 'genuine' UFO images: rows of tiny windows
(with the occasional blurred image of an alien peering out); engine
apparatus detail; strange surface marks that could be
alien
hieroglyphics.
An easily detachable handle completes the
transformation
into a fully functioning UFO Saucepan Lid, ready for
flinging in the air as the cameras record its wobbling
motion.
UFO Saucepan Lids are available in a range of widths,
and rim
variations to
enable them to retrospectively fit existing pots and
pans. Range may be joined by "UFO Detailed Cigar Containers".
Inevitable delux version comes with alien style stirring
spoon and scaled down alien figure.
(?) The Martians
https://www.youtube...watch?v=3SAbJjktk7E
Nothing like real Martians, of course ... [8th of 7, Jan 21 2019]
[link]
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I'll take several in different sizes, of the deluxe version with steam-driven whirring sound. |
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But what if alien civilisations are even now
redesigning their spacecrafts to look more like
saucepan lids so as to more easily escape
detection? |
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Those pesky aliens have a lot to hide. |
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Then clearly if a UFO sighting looks like a saucepan
lid, then it is an alien spacecraft, and vice-versa. |
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// alien style stirring spoon // |
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Will there be a matching Metal Knife, and an implement for taking cooked potatoes and Smashing Them All To Bits ? |
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Everything is possible when it comes to alien accompaniments. |
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"In space, no-one can hear you doing the washing-up ..." |
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//Many of the images of UFOs turn out to be pics of
saucepan lids// |
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Hubcaps always seemed somewhat more popular than
saucepan lids to me. |
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Closely followed by "experimental" aircraft & drones of
course. |
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Once worked for a place with a small library
including a fairly extensive collection of Jane's back issues,
flicking through those lunchtimes made it pretty clear
most non hubcap related UFO's of the 70's & 80's (those that
weren't pretty obviously just atmospheric phenomena) had
near identical analogs among craft & drones in common use
by the 80's &
90's. |
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//modify saucepan lids to become more convincing as
UFOs// |
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All evidence points towards this being a gross waste of both
time & effort, people are often stupid enough to accept
photo's
of lenticular clouds as UFO's & vast numbers of them have
in the past proven happy enough to embrace perfectly
ordinary hubcaps & saucepan lids as alien craft, so why
waste
time gussying them up to be more convincing, clearly
they're already as convincing as they need to be. |
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I saw a graphic once of "Most Common Designs of Reported
UFOs" (or something like that).
They were obviously and easily grouped into Pot Lids, Hub
Caps, and Light Shades (and some combinations of those).
There were only 2 or 3 (of 60 or so) that didn't fit into one
of those categories. |
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Nothing resembling a cuboid? Must be the Borg
haven't bothered much with our pre-warp society. |
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Frankly, I think we ought to round up all the saucepan lid
designers and ask them just where they got their "inspiration"
from. |
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"Form Follows Function" hardly counts as inspiration. |
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// Nothing resembling a cuboid? // |
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Since our Cube isn't noticeably aerodynamic, being optimized for interstellar travel, we don't tend to penetrate planetary atmospheres, because it uses a lot of energy for the deflectors, it's relatively slow, and sometimes bits get broken off. So, we just use our cloaking device, and glide into an orbit at about 100,000 km where we can conveniently transport down. |
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// Must be the Borg haven't bothered much with our pre-warp society // |
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We're only here for the comedy shows - CNN is one of the best. Some of their stand-up acts are priceless. |
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Cube? Ha - laughable. That needs to be bashed
into a lumpy blob covered with craters. The
Clangers can show you how to live proper lives. |
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Clangers ? Panhandling little junk-merchants ... nothing more than ugly space wombles ... |
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// a lumpy blob covered with craters. // |
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Why do you want our Cube to be a likeness of your face ? Is it a vanity thing ? |
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Beware. The Clangers are attended to by The Soup
Dragon. One word, and you will be reduced to
binary digits without any of the 1's. |
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Is ‘saucepan lids’ some sort of euphemism for ‘pot
heads’? If so there could be a definite correlation
with UFO sightings. |
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When I lived in San Francisco doing missionary
work, I was a total pot head. I once cut off all of
my very long hair and made it into a hair rat which
was stored in the ice compartment of the fridge in
a specimen bag. My only regret over that work is in
having no photographic record. I could do it again,
only this time make an ant colony from a million
short hairs, or I could make this 8th's punishment
for loitering around too long and making a noise. |
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We have no fight with the Soup Dragon, indeed the soup is remarkably palatable. But those pointy-nosed pink chavs are another matter. They were initially very unpleasant about our Chicken, and said many cruel, nasty and hurtful things, for which we have not forgiven them. It was our first attempt at a robotic chicken, and there were a few teething (or rather, beaking) problems, but they were rude, discourteous and insulting. |
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Plus that musical boat of theirs is a right nuisance. |
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// One word, and you will be reduced to binary digits without any of the 1's. // |
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Your feeble threats do not frighten us, puny Earthling (although the one about the hair is a bit worrying). |
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Hums contentedly as the bowl fills up with the
necessary supply of a million hairs, while the
colony of ants get ready to strike individual poses
for the event. |
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//When I lived in San Francisco doing missionary
work, I was a total pot head.// |
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Although revealing as an origin story, I'm not sure if
anything about that sentence is surprising, nor am I
sure about which part is most disturbing. |
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Wow. Stuff you never knew you needed so badly. I need a set for my sauté pans and the ‘mothership’ 3-gallon stew pot. With the right sourcing of blanks this could be a cottage industry selling on the internet. Vents, handles, glass inserts; these could be BIG! |
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Not for hoaxing! For the culinary arts! |
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