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People complain that commercial businesses etc. start Christmassing far too early. This is a Bad Thing but no-one knows how to stop them doing this because they make a Shed-Load of money from Premature Chrismation.
Proposed is that the Christmas Authorities (by which I mean the institutional organisations
that run Christmas) give new powers to themselves, to decide the date of this year's Christmas.
Agents are appointed, who will roam the world's shopping malls and tasteless tat emporiums from the summer onwards.
As soon as an Agent spies a Retail Establishment that has put Christmas Decorations up as Decorations (so as not to penalise retail establishments who deal in a tasteful and discrete way with pre-Christmas pre-preparation supplies), the Agent preses the Large Red Button concealed upon their person. This Button Press is the official Start to Christmas. A Location detector simultaneously broadcasts the name of the business owner and the business and its location.
Christmas Day is mandated to be exactly one calendar month after the button press, and is to be branded with the business name and location information.
For example, on 4th September 2025, an Agent finds a genuine fake christmas tree with lights and fake presents displayed outside of Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre. They press their button, and so it is decreed that we will all celebrate Christmas Day (thanks to Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre) on 4th October 2025. Naturally enough, Boxing Day (thanks to Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre) will be on 5th October. The Twelve Days of Christmas (thanks to Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre) will run as usual until Epiphany (thanks to Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre) on 20th October and then that is the end of Christmas 2025 (thanks to Bargain Bucket of Basingstoke Marsh Shopping Centre). Anyone doing anything Christmassy after 20th October will be arrested and sentenced to imprisonment until 6th January with no exceptions.
Right to jail!
https://youtu.be/ei...si=_jWpJNuAN9tfbr8t
[21 Quest, Dec 06 2024]
[link]
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This is classic half baking. [+] |
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What is to be done about the stores that keep Christmas up all year? |
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[Voice] they either learn very quick to be //tasteful and discrete// or they find themselves triggering Christmas Day to be held on 7th February which I think would piss off a lot of their customers. |
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[+] At least you'll let us out for Three King's Day. All heart. |
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Don't fuck with Hanukkah... |
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Somehow this should trigger a no confidence vote in the government. |
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It always starts the day after Halloween. |
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I'm pretty sure "arrogate" is meant. "Abrogate" means the opposite of that. |
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It's rare that you see an idea which is drafted in such a way that it could be dropped verbatim into a bill and become law without any amendment from a committee, parliamentary or otherwise. |
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Yes abrogate is wrong. Thank you |
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