h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Browsing through a Smithsonian magazine in a doctor's office [before my brush with electronic crib death, if you recognize this from last time], I came across an article on tree sleeping. It was accompanied by beautifully eloquent photographs of couples in gently lit mosquito-tented hanging hammock
things before a deep purple sunset. The treetop sleepers report particularly vivid dreams.
Just like our safari in Africa, except without the ground.
The only problem is that pirate tree sleepers threaten the wild woods canopy.
So come visit our carefully constructed sequoia-top hotel, and be hoisted aloft for an ecofriendly, state-sanctioned sleep like you have never known! Complete, as noted, with room service on a pulley.
Thank you for the links, angel, IVnick8or and mrthingy, but no, nothing like those, except for the tree. As noted, there is no floor. You are hoisted into the tree for the night on a canvas platform, and sleep suspended. I wish I could find a picture (the Smithsonian site is not obliging).
Tree Camping
http://www.dancingw...treetop_camping.htm
Sans bellmen to hoist your luggage or deliver room service, but this is apparently the canvas floored platform that you've described. Meals included; Mosquito nets available for a small additional charge. [jurist, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
US Wildland Fires and Acres - 2002
http://www.nifc.gov/fireinfo/nfnmap.html
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
check this one out
http://images.amazo...853.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Rainforest pod hotel
Rainforest_20pod_20hotel
Something entirely different [django, Aug 28 2006]
Tentsile
http://www.tentsile.com/gallery.html
Here's a versatile product that can wow the most jaded camper and give them a unique night's sleep amongst the trees without approaching such rarefied heights. [jurist, Mar 16 2013]
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// You are hoisted into the tree for the night on a canvas platform // |
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What if you need to go to the loo ? |
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What about vampire bats ? |
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There are bell hops, remember? They can winch you down again.
This is California, remember?
You're under a mosquito net, remember? (And do they have vampire bats in California?)
See #2.
See #3. |
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It would be a terrible shame to have such a naturalist's dream of a weekend break blemished by neon or anything so tawdry as an electric motor. I can imagine a luddite commune of cloud-sniffing tree-huggers getting everything into and out of the tree with pulleys, constantly maintaining perfect equilibrium. It wouldn't be a very long lived commune because of the absurd lengths members would have to go to in order to reproduce. |
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Oh, for goodness' sake! It's all pulleys, winches and hoists and sweaty bell hops - no electricity - can't you guys read?! |
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And those communes, believe it or not, are largely Baked; I am proposing turning it into a commercial (and responsible) service. [Since the platforms generally sleep two, I imagine the occupants do not have to go through any more contortions than the average couple seeking to reproduce. And you are safely harnessed if you get a little too frisky and fall off.] |
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Well, if you ask sweetly, maybe I could post that idea again too. (Or, of course, not.) |
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Nope, acts of vandalism definitely do not Bake this idea, which specifically calls for government sanction as well as commercial viability. |
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Don't worry Dr C! The problems of reproduction are only encountered by the hypothetical inhabitants of the commune I wasn't describing very well. The result of having to maintain perfect equilibrium - you would be high in the tree, horny as hell, while your wife would be stuck on the forest floor. Of course you solve this problem with a sweaty bellhop. Bravo! |
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mrthingy: nope, I see a floor. |
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I recieved that magazine. It was beautiful... Great idea for a honeymoon or something... that and you're free from wee sleekit cowrin beasties that would otherwise eat you... |
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[Dr. Curry] Even if the liability insurance for this kind of hotel operation wasn't prohibitive, California public safety laws and building requirements would probably put your sequoia dream quickly to bed. Georgia, however, apparently isn't quite so picky, and the view is still pretty exciting. (Link) |
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jurist is right (as usual) - and this time, unfortunately right. Cal-OSHA would be on this like a fly on chit. My elf grew, and grew, and grew a very short distance from Sequoia National Forest which had it's largest fire ever this past year (McNally Fire). It has burned 150,696 acres with 130,177 on the Sequoia National Forest and 20,519 on the Inyo National Forest and is 100% contained. Containment means that they have the fire controlled within a border, but that the fire will still burn within those boundaries "until snowfall". 56 Million bucks (not deer, dollars - though deer and other wildlife no doubt lost habitat and elves...) and priceless views burned due to a dingbat without a fire permit cooking hotdogs near brush. Check link provided by my elf to see acreage burned/# of fires in US for 2002. I'll be dining with my Pop on Animal Sacrifice Day shortly, and no doubt he'll rehash his days as a Division of Forestry Fire Chief.
Update: as we await the Animal Sacrificial Offerings... The fire burned at such high temps - the soil literally melted. Upon the first rain - which amounted to 30 inches in 36 hours - the runoff of this soil flooded streams and rivers - killing fish, polluting said waterways, and the critters who feed from it, while what was left behind was pavement-like earth in many places. |
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jurist: yep, that Bakes it, except for the room service.
thumbwax: since this will be a private hotel in private trees on private property, firebreaks and regular safety standards will ensure no forest fires are created. |
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Until they hire a concierge, add a kitchen, and install a few amenities, I think your idea remains safe, Peter. I've stayed in other "Tree Hotels" before; The link was definitely "Tree Camping". |
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Is it very mobile? Can it be placed at a different location every week? Can it be airlifted by a helicopter? Does it have an elevator system? |
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If not, check out the radically different Rainforest Pod Hotel [see link] ;-) |
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