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Tree Booze

 A quick pick me up.
  (+8, -3)
(+8, -3) 		  [vote for,
against]

One great thing about a Christmas tree is that fine pine smell through the house. But by New Years the smell is starting to fade as the tree grows old. That tree smell is from volatile compounds released by needles, like pinene.

Here at BUNGCO, we have a new way to wring one last gasp of tree smell from your tree before it departs for Christmas Tree Vahalla. BUNGCO Tree Booze is 99.44% ethyl alcohol in a fancy, tree-shaped bottle. Pour it instead of water into your Christmas tree's water reservoir. The ethanol will ascend the tree and pour out of the needles, carrying all the remaining pinene and volatile conifer oils with it. An olfactory overload and appropriate celebration of the New Year!

Finally, your tree will be approximately 12 times more flammable after being pickled in ethanol. If you enjoy a New Years bonfire, you can give your tree a viking funeral. Hopefully outside.

—bungston, Jan 01 2005

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       I was expecting maple brandy.   

       Mmmmm maple.   

       Or, you could just drink a bottle of Greek Retsina, which is quite similar in sensation to imbibing a spruce tree. You can still burn the tree, afterwards, but with Retsina you can rekindle redolent Christmas tree memories as frequently as the spirit moves you throughout the year.
—jurist, Jan 02 2005
   

       I’ve never celebrated Christmas, so Christmas trees aren’t my arboreal forte, but how can it possibly take such a short amount of time for a tree to grow old? Actually, I think this is a good idea; I just needed an excuse to use the word ‘arboreal’.
—spiritualized, Jan 02 2005
   

       Real viking Christmas trees go to VaLhalla.
—FarmerJohn, Jan 02 2005
   

       "They tells me not to but I still drinks it."
-The KoT
—nick_n_uit, Jan 02 2005
   

       Or Valhallallalalla. Lla Lla, lla, lla.
—bungston, Jan 02 2005
   

       I think gin tastes like a Christmas tree. So it's vodka martinis for me.
—swamilad, Jan 02 2005
   

       Mmmmm, gin and vodka. Anything that involves Valhalla, alcohol and yummier smelling holidays gets my vote.
—Machiavelli, Jan 02 2005
   

       Essence of Christmas, which is the Christmas Tree Smell, is available in a room spray now ... and is readily shipped to the USA around this time from here in UK. Without the Half Bakery we might not have got there. Some poor person will be getting a credit on a website near you soon. www.essenceofchristmas.co.uk
—pamelahaswell, Oct 21 2005
   

       Glad to see you picking up on the hidden theme of Christmas here [bungston].   

       With regard to [pamelahaswell]'s profile page, I would like to mention as a side anecdote how disgusted I was to see the Bristol city council is putting up Christmas lights already. Its frankly disgusting.
—hidden truths, Oct 21 2005
   


 

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