h a l f b a k e r ynon-lame halfbakery tagline
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When Gran has had enough of the constant pain, the debility, the drugs, and the futility of her non-treatable terminal illness, instead of putting the hard word on Grandpa to do his duty with the pillow when the nurse's back is turned, she blows a large chunk of the inheritance money on the Cruise to
End All Cruises!
A condemned cruise liner is waiting at the dock, fully refurbished in 1920s style. She and a couple hundred other voluntary exit enthusiasts are wined, dined and pain-relieved for the finest few days she has ever known. Then in the middle of the night, well into international waters, the support staff are quietly whisked away on launches.
Then, with a tearing, thundering, pre-recorded screech, the vessel "collides" with the mock-up iceberg barge. Strategically placed limpet mines tear a huge rent in the hull, and the ship, and all aboard, are lost.
Oh, the romance! Oh, the humanity!
"Passage on the Lady Anne"
http://www.thetzsit.../pictures/anne.html
Well treated, Twilight Zone season four. [reensure, Sep 01 2002]
BunsenHoneydew's link
http://www.halfbake...0Demolition_20Derby
To save yama the trouble of posting other people's links [NickTheGreat, Sep 07 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Deliberately sinking ships
http://www.bostonhe...ie/nie05282002.html
....to create reefs [krelnik, Oct 20 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Ethermal resting place
Ethermal_20Resting_20Place
Since you asked [theircompetitor, Aug 11 2006]
Isadora Duncan
http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Isadora_Duncan
Famous for the manner of her death. [hippo, Aug 15 2006]
[link]
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How about Culture: Absurd? |
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do we do - doing away with grandparents, bris? |
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In a morbid way. I kind of like this concept. But instead of the fated luxury cruiser, what about granny going on an adventure in a car with autopilot: It would be a crazy road trip, being chased by the police. It would end with the car at the bottom of a canyon via a couple of thousand feet of air, "Lets keep goin". |
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Not quite the dignified ending you have in mind, but it has its merits. |
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I'm almost ashamed to say that I like this. |
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This is silly.
You take a whole cruise liner and deliberately sink her? Exactly how much are you planning to charge people to kill themselves? This could be nicely done in VR, to an extent - a lot cheaper too.
Have a fishbone (you'll be seeing plenty of them in Davy Jones' locker anyway). |
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Taking a cue from 9/11, one could fill a mothballed jet with "exiters", select the volunteer crew from Guantanamo Bay and crash it into a building scheduled for demolition. |
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*stifled applause* A croissant for you, perfect as part of a last meal. |
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To address NtG's budget qualms (what are you, a realist?) you could have the whole thing on rails, which go 50 miles out to sea (from Liverpool, I'm assuming) before dipping steadily down. The support staff would not be whisked away but wear scuba gear, and would then shove-ha'penny the ah *floating client base* out into Irish water, before rounding the Isle of Man and coming back into dock, fully washed and dettol'd for next Tuesday's trip. |
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Despite that possible solution and obvious support, I still don't like this idea. |
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While not questioning that this is a really, really stupid idea, there are programs to create artificial reefs by scuttling old ships. Just wheel your granny onto one of those. |
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Granny probably wouldn't make it up the steps onto the boat! |
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Aside from the legal issues, think of the pollution! I don't want false-teeth slicks washing up on my beaches. |
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Didn't Eskimos do this (on a smaller scale)? |
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I like the 9/11 idea, in a morbidly sick and twisted kind of way... this could spin off into a whole array of disaster-recreation exit experiences, such as the Hindenberg disaster, Apollo 13, Pearl Harbour, the Clinton presidency :-) |
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And VR is not such a bad idea either. Although NickTheGreat seems to have missed the point that the ship is condemned already, and due for scuttling. |
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And we could even send the ship into this <Link moved to links. -- StarChaser> |
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I was thinking more in terms of fuel... although I can't remember exactly why I put what I did now... :-s
You could, I suppose, hire suicidal grannies to fly planes into Afghan caves. |
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Is the Captain of this vessel Jack Kevorkian by any chance? |
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//You take a whole cruise liner and deliberately sink her? // |
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Nick, this is actually done fairly often---it is a way to create artificial underwater habitats for ocean life. (To replace the non-artificial ones we've ruined already). Eventually they become coral reefs. (See link) |
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I would kind of like the idea that my grave would become a home for ocean wildlife. (WTAGIPBAN) |
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I just thought I'd bring this up as I scan ideas to see what funereal oddities haven't been created - I've always liked this one. |
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Me too. Whenever I try to explain the HB to anyone, it's this that I use as an example idea. And the evil laugh-activated hand dryer, obviously. |
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I would consider taking the trip provided nobody plays that ridiculous Céline Dion tune on board. That would kill me off before I die. |
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Sounds like yet another suicide machine, but with a lot of passengers. And we can assume none of the others are close relatives. Not a nice way to go for granny! |
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What happened to a good old fashioned game of russian roulette - if you really need to throw away armfuls of cash, use a solid gold handgun. |
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This could be extended into a whole range of "Famous ways to die". For example someone who is a dance enthusiast might want die in the manner of Isadora Duncan (see link). |
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