h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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Nice choice of category, however. Might be kind of slippery. |
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No no no, po. No, po, no. Po, no. There
are 10.9 million sheep
in Wales, and the average area of a
sheep
(as viewed from above) is 0.34 square
metres, giving a total sheepage of
about 3.7 million square metres, as
compared to the area of Wales of about
270 billion square metres. Hence, only
a minuscule proportion of the Marmite
will be deposited on sheep. |
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Incidentally, to forestall the obvious
jokes: (1) yes, this is approximately 5
sheep for every Welshman and (2) yes, I
know Marmite would wash off the
whales as they swam. |
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Oh, and sp.: Marmite (proper noun). |
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//5 sheep for every Welshman// Shirley, some have more than others - I imagine some guys have hundreds of the prettier ones? Do Welshwomen not have any at all? |
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Marmite on lamb, not yuk! Marmite, the French (the bastards) word, refers to a pot used for the reduction of stock or soup for added flavour. The pot often had legs to remove it from the direct heat and allow slow evapouration. The delicious outside of a slow roasted lamb can be duplicated (not entirely) more quickly by the basting of a marmite based sauce. The recipe: Marmite, coca cola, mint sauce (vinegrette type) dash of mustard. (quantities witheld due to copyright infringements) |
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Aren't the Welsh thick-skinned enough as it is? Although the Prince of Wales becomes the, perhaps more appropriate, Prince of Darkness? |
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I oppose this on the grounds that in order to obtain my Marmite I would have to lick Wales. I am not prepared to do this (for reasons which should be obvious). |
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OK, Angel. You can have the Marmite that
we save by not covering the sheep. Deal? |
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In World War One, the 105mm shells fired by German field howitzers exploded with a very distinctive large cloud of black smoke. In trench slang, British troops refered to them as "Coalboxes" or "Jack Johnsons"(after a famous black boxer of that era). The French (bastards) referred to them as "Marmites" (lit.: 'cauldron'). |
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We are wasted on you lot. |
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Rumour has it that you're wasted pretty
much everywhere. |
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It's what Wales was made for. [+] |
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"This is Rumour Control, here are the facts ......." |
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The rumours to which you refer are completely and entirely incorrect. Mostly. |
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// It's what Wales was made for. // |
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Damn, is it ? We always hoped that Wales could be like Belgium, a place to have wars in where it didn't matter if the place got trashed. |
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Greenpeace isn't gonna like this. |
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I respectfully refer the honourable Mr. 2
Fries to my earlier annotation on this very
topic. |
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[8th of 7] You have never been to Belgium? |
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Finally something that goes with my bread flip-flop idea. |
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However, Wales is a fractal surface and so the actual quantity of Marmite required will tend towards infinity. |
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Mmmmmmm, infinite Marmite, mmmmmmm |
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// You have never been to Belgium? // |
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//We always hoped that Wales could be like Belgium, a place to have wars in where it didn't matter if the place got trashed.//
(Linky) |
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Speaking of wars, consider Offa's Dyke between England and Wales. Some say it was to keep the Welsh out, but others say it was to keep the sheep in*. Many wars have been started by those who openly speculated the purpose of the construction in wrong company. |
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*Obviously, they've all managed to escape. |
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//I thought "Belgium" was an Old High German proper noun for "speedbump"?// |
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It used to be. Then, sometime in the forties it's usage became more like "shortcut". |
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//Doesn't Wales get a good licking every time they take the field?//
Probably a legacy of their first captain. |
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// more like "shortcut".// |
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Earlier than that - 1914 - see also under "Schlieffen Plan". |
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(Ah right. That wily Kaiser. Fair enough. Thought I'd play safe and avoid Ypres etc.) |
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William II was (like most European royals) a fairly dim monarch who fell into the clutches of scheming politicians. Just because his policies resulted in the unnecessary death of millions of inncocent people, that's not a justification for revilling him; one might as well attack George W. Bush on the same grounds....... |
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[marked-for-deletion] Recipe. |
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I have nothing against Wilhelm II. I just didn't want to call Passchendaele a shortcut! |
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It was Douglas Haig's conception of a "shortcut" to the U-Boat bases on the Belgian coast. |
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Maybe he should have looked at the map a little more carefully. |
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"But hey, we're all in the EU now..... what's 232,000 needlessly-slaughtered young men between friends ?" |
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//But hey, we're all in the EU now.....
what's 232,000 needlessly-slaughtered
young men between friends ?// I can't
help but feel that a modest and essentially
benign proposal to bemarmite Wales has
led us on a wild herring chase without a
paddle. |
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I think the sheep are an entirely
different kettle of fish. It was Po who
brought up lamb. (I can't blame her - I
too would bring up lamb if it were
coated in Marmite.) In fact, sheep are
by no means an integral part of the
process. |
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The problem with Belgium is that it is
about 50% larger than Wales (as
reflected by it's having two nations and
three vowels). This would compromise
our ability to achieve a contiguous
coating, or would overstretch our
resources. |
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Also, I rather like Belgium and the
Belgianese - they make quite
remarkably good chips, and apparently
they have seventeen breweries for every
man, woman and dog. |
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//As for licking sheep... I'll send you a few New Zealanders.//
Just 'coz we have 12 sheep per person (it was 20-per in the mid '80's...). |
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I love Marmite as much as the next man (or in all likelihood considerably more), but the problem here is your choice of country (or principality or whatever Wales is these days). |
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There's a Welsh legend that the Devil has been ordered to count every blade of grass in Wales, as punishment for his mischief. |
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I want to know more about whether covering the grass with Marmite will make it easier for the devil to say, "I'm done! Can't see any more grass to count!" and get back to stirring up trouble. Are you one of his minions trying to trick us into helping him? |
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[imaginality], if you're trying to drag this
proposal down into fantasy and comedy, I
shan't be following you. |
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//Just 'coz we have 12 sheep per person (it
was 20-per in the mid '80's...).// Each
New Zealandese has got through 8 sheep
in 20 years? |
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But what about the vegetables ? |
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