h a l f b a k e r yBirth of a Notion.
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Scintillate, scintillate, microscopic celestial body.
Wherewith myself disputes wither yourself exists.
Aloft overhead the globe, so elevated.
Akin to a lozenge in the firmament.
Scintillate, scintillate, microscopic celestial body.
Wherewith myself disputes wither yourself exists.
The Minikin Incarnadine Cowl-Titivated Gamine
http://www.physics....english/page_2.html
"Anomalastic primogenitor, what prodigious ocular orbs goggle from your physiognomy," she averred.
"The more efficient to descry your homuncular form with punctilious exactitude, my minion," he enucleated. [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
(?) The Basilic Paludal Denizen
http://www.physics....ish/frogprince.html
"Subsequently the pinguid arrivist dunned an osculation from the restive wench, who, after quashing her fathomable odium and with prodigious trepidation, thrust her orificular labia onto his mephitic integument. Fraught with wroth, she thereupon jaculated the hectoring execration against the partition. Expeditiously, the ignominious roué transmuted into an urbane patrician." [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
The Night Before Christmas (Technical Version)
http://xmasfun.com/...BeforeTechnical.asp
[Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Feb 02 2008]
Baked.
http://www.arnspub....hD/Scintillate.html
[mrthingy, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General
http://math.boisest...rates/html/p13.html
Now there's a man who used his thesaurus. [DrBob, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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that looks like hard work! it don't rhyme. |
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nit pick its "how I wonder what you are" not "if you are" |
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Mmmh, I've always heard it as, "where you are".
Cultural difference maybe? |
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Behold Dick.
Dick has a canis domesticus.
The canis domesticus is appellated "Spot."
Oh, observe Spot! Spot is pursuing a spheroid!
Hasten Spot, hasten!
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Perceive Jane
Jane has a felis domesticus.
Jane's felis domesticus has the moniker "Puff."
Puff obtains the spheroid.
View Spot! Witnes Puff!
Spot and Puff are engaged in a fracas!
"No, no, Spot," censures Jane.
"Do not wrest the spheroid from Puff.
Be amicable with my felis domesticus."
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Oh, observe and perceive!
Spot and Puff have undergone pacification!
Laudable Spot! Praiseworthy Puff!
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"Oh, Jane," vociferates Dick,
"Espy our progenitors in the automotive vehicle."
"Mater! Pater!" ejaculates Jane, "What is your anticipated destination?"
"We are proceeding to the emporium with the intent of purchasing comestibles," states Mater.
"Oh Mater and Pater," implore Dick and Jane, "May we be transported to the emporium in the automotive vehicle likewise?"
Mater and Pater signify their assent, and yonder they all hie down the thoroughfare. |
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in 24 hour periods of yesteryear
during which time men below the rank of baronet
were presumptuous
and rubber contraceptives were not devised
these same men bound the soft footwear, belonging to them,
in a tight circle around their male birds
and newborn humans were obstructed |
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“Distinguish thou afterward, Alligator mississipiensis.”
”Subsequent to a jiffy, Crocodylus. “ |
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Wasn't this someone's famous comedy routine? I want to say Peter Sellers but I know that's wrong. |
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Po, what the heck is that, a limerick?
I got as far as, "in days of old, when men were ..." |
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Here's my guess:
In days of old
when men were bold
and condoms were not yet invented
they tied their socks
around their cocks
and babies were thereby prevented |
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In honor of baseball opening day:
This creates the recursive feeling of having experienced these events previously yet repetitively. |
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My being comprises a diminutive beverage vessel, |
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Behold my gripping mechanism, |
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On the occasion of my effervescence, |
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Hilarious. +. Can't resist: |
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At what price will that descendant of a domesticated wolf within the rectangular aperture become available?
I am referring to the instance that possesses the oscillating semi-prehensile posterior extension.
At what price will that descendant of a domesticated wolf within the rectangular aperture become available?
Oh, how I desire that an offer and acceptance negotiation in respect to that descendant of a domesticated wolf can be initiated with the assumption of successful resolution. |
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On a shadowy, murky public vehicular thoroughfare in a barren, arid, desolate region; Chilly, brisk current of air in my tresses... |
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What a perfectly formed pleuronectes! |
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its got a croissant, you fool. |
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An equine beast is equivalent to itself
As logic and reason dictate, as logic and reason dictate.
In addition, there is not a single person who is recommended to initiate conversation with an equine beast (naturally),
Except, as one would think obvious, in the following circumstance:
that the aforementioned animal happens to be the internationally known Mister Ed... |
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oh I am slow today, just *Got* the flipping teapot! |
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During tranquil hours of darkness
In the course of a contravention
Reminiscent of a torrent of illumination
He becomes visible at the commencement |
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Thought word games and lists had been banned here? |
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They would have been thinking word games would have been being banned here? |
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Who's the bastard who fishboned this? C'mere while I rapidly disassemble your patellae. |
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Trying to do this with Nelly, but it's hard. Here are the first few lines:
Febrific in...febrific in this place! Excessively febrific in...febrific - oh!
With a diminutive morsel of "uh uh" and a diminutive morsel of "uh uh"
Only a diminutive morsel of ... Only a diminutive morsel of ...
Only a diminutive morsel of ... Only a diminutive morsel of ...
I opined, my word, posterior is prodigious
Coquettish, endeavoring forbearance
Then it gets hard. In the original:
I'm waitin for the right time to shoot my steez (you know)
Waitin for the right time to flash them ki's, then uhh
Anyway, the problem is that many of these words aren't in Roget's. Guess you have to stick to the classics. I shall nonetheless grant thee a croissant. |
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I enjoy excessive posteriors and am unable to fabricate, |
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alternate siblings cannot repudiate, |
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On the occasion of a female entering in possession of a diminutive girth and a spherical object in your aspect. |
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You become free, wish to raise disguise, as you behold that posterior is congested... |
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A fugue of voices now, clamoring explanations, of a disaster unavertable, a world to be destroyed, a surge of helplessness, a spasm of despair, a dying fall, again the break of words. |
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<stares at own feet and shuffles around in embarrasment> |
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hey its the end of the financial year - you were up to your eyes in real stuff ! |
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Still am, po. In local government the last day of the financial year goes on for about a month. |
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not different in the company of and referring to something near by an assembly for consultation <g> |
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T'was drusky, and the greasly caws
Did wafe and whiver in the greeze.
All preesly were the meblavaws,
And the garn blodes exfleeze. |
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This is great fun but hardly a new idea. I remember my long since dead father boring me rigid when I was a kid with such versions of aphorisms. The only one I can remember is:
That member of the avian tribe
Whose movements one can circumscribe
In manu, as a pair will rate
Sub-arborally situate.
He had another about closing the stable door after the horse has bolted but I'm buggered if I can remember it. |
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in such a manner a lot is contingent on
a crimson circular frame revolving on an axis
with attendant cart
sugared in company H2O of the kind caused by precipitation
by the side of uncoloured oven-ready fowl |
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I'm slower. I didn't get the teapot until after you revealed it. Care to give a hint on your latest? |
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Oh geesh, how or why did I miss that? |
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Ah, what's the real reason for your discomfiture, disconsolate human being,
Unaccompanied and colourlessly hovering around,
Plants of the genus Carex have dehydrated at places around the inland sea,
Also, at the same time, the number of feathered vertebrates of the class Aves, uttering vocalisations with musical modulations of the voice, amount to that mathematical quantity which lies intermediate between positive and negative values. |
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childish term for small
childish term for being penurious
childish term for belonging to me
derivitive for Maureen |
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seize a cold-blooded strictly aquatic
craniate vertebrate
by the terminal member of his foot
in the event that
he utters a loud cry
allow him to proceed |
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childish term for small
childish term for being penurious
childish term for belonging to me
derivitive for Maureen |
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This individual perceived a member of the genus mus musculus.
At what location!
Evidently tangible in contact with the tread.
At what location in contact with the tread?
Manifest!
A lilliputian member of the genus mus musculus attired in ligneous fooooooot appaaarel.
Evidently tangible this individual proclaims.
Proceeding report, reportetty detonation in contact with the tread. |
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Wow, [squeak], that took some googling. (to other Yanks: don't cheat, but if you give up, search on "a windmill in old amsterdam") |
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never heard those last two before, waugs. |
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1,2,3,4 ....... anyone help with [kam]'s? (well done!) |
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In honor of the brave, the inquisitive [kevindimie], who may be the first person ever to attempt the delicate separation of rap from its native lexicon, I offer the following: |
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I favor enormous posteriors and I cannot prevaricate!
You additional members of the male gender cannot disallow!
When a young woman perambulates past with a diminutive waist and a spherical object in your countenance, you get ...
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What's another word for "sprung", fellas? |
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"propelled by the release of energy formerly stored by the deformation of an elastic material"? |
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The brilliant [sambiches] beat me to the merry murder of Sir Mix-A-Lot. That's what I get for spotty reading of a 'bakery thread. |
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Unfortunately, since no popular song since has been at once more brilliant and more true than "Baby Got Back", I must reach even further back in the history of singular popular songs: |
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The populace claims we're puerile and ignorant
We will not ascertain prior to our full development
Well I am not certain if the entirety of that is creditable
'Cause you possess me, and baby I have come into the possession of you
Babe
I have come into the possession of you, babe
I have come into the possession of you, babe
The populace claims our affection won't produce the necessary funds to pay the rent
In advance of its acquisition, the currency has all been distributed in expenditure
I suppose that is verifiable, we don't have a receptacle
But at least I am convinced of all of the items we retain
Babe
I have come into possession of you, babe
I have come into possession of you, babe
I can lay claim to the often showy part of a seed plant that bears reproductive organs in the period of time after the vernal equinox and before the summer solstice
I can lay claim to you to habitually carry my ring on your person for adornment
And when I am melancholy, you're a grotesquely dressed comedy performer in a circus
And if I become trepidatious, you're in perpetual proximity to me
...
So let the populace claim that the body of pigmented filaments that form your chatercteristic coat is too long
I take no notice, with you I can't become inadequate
Then place the small terminal part of your vertebrate forelimb in mine, there ain't no bluff or relatively steep and high elevation of land we can't ascend
Babe
I have come into possession of you, babe
I have come into possession of you, babe
I possess you to grasp the terminal part of my vertebrate forelimb
I possess you to comprehend
I possess you to perambulate with me
I possess you to converse with me
I possess you to osculate good night
I possess you to embrace me with affectionate strength
I possess you, I won't release my grasp
I possess you to actively desire me so
...
I have come into possession of ...
Yooooouu, babe |
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Indicate the route to my abode,
I'm fatigued and I wish to now retire,
I imbibed fermented barley not 60 minutes past,
And it proceeded directly to my cranium.
In whatsoever habitat I wander
On prominentory, ocean or spume,
You will evermore intercept me vocalising this refrain
indicate the route to my abode. |
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<Britney> Concuss identity offspring, singular incremental instance<Britney> |
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bagel, bannock, pumpernickel, turnover, ciabatta, baguette, macaroon, chapatti, roti, polenta, tortilla, pitta , pastry, galette, gateau...ahh yes...croissant |
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Applause for [neelandan], way up there ---^ |
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In the recent past it was being an unyielding sunrise to sunset's after-hours.
Plus myself was engaged in manual labor akin to a canis familliaris. |
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Dedicated to [po] (apparently): |
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Why do avifauna unexpectedly manifest themselves
on each occasion that you are within close proximity?
In extreme similarity to myself,
They are desirous of existing
in the neighbourhood of the subject of this verse. |
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The diminuitive-statured young maiden Muffett
Reposed athwart a cushion
Consuming a cultured separated dairy product
Meanwhile the arrival of an arachnid
who also reposed upon the cushion
Caused maid Muffett's fight-or-flight syndrome
to send her scurrying. |
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That brings up a good point. She should have stayed and fought the bastard. |
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Coruscate, coruscate, fine-drawn cynosure |
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Kameleon, you really haven't seen the movie Groundhog Day?
Just to address the point for a moment, isn't this all really just a poor attempt to mimic Gilbert & Sullivan's "I am the very model of a modern major-general", a thesaurus devouring song if ever there was one? |
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Oh its alright you found it. |
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<bows to angel, and reads from scroll> |
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Calling attention, blubbery derrière, derrière,
Mellifluous crystalline sucrose doughball,
Calling attention, blubbery derrière, derrière,
Allow me to communicate information, your honour! |
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It was bright, and the wet toves
Moved around some
The borogoves weren't too good.
Neither were the raths.
"Look out for the Jabberwock, kid."
"It has sharp bits."
"Also the Jubjub bird; also"
"The goddamned bandersnatch"
He grabbed his knife.
And wandered around quite a while.
Then he sat under a tree.
And took a nap.
While he was napping.
The Jabberwock, with irritated eyes,
Showed up, breathing hard.
And coughed up some stuff.
Hack, Hack
And stab, stab.
His knife made noise.
He killed it.
And took its head home.
"So, you killed the Jabberwock?"
"C'mere, kid. Lemme give you a hug."
"This turned out to be a great day"
The old man said.
It was bright, and the wet toves
Moved around some
The borogoves weren't too good.
Neither were the raths. |
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Heh. Kind of like Steven Wright does Lewis Carroll. |
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Reflective surface designed to form an optical image of some sort, reflective surface designed to form an optical image of some sort, upon the immure -
What or which person or persons, including my elf, has an objective existence, of being in reality or actuality, a countenance which suggests beauty because of purity, flawlessness, or freshness amongst people with whom I am familiar, as well as those with whom my acquaintance has not been made? |
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An apple a day will keep them pesky dwarves away. |
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Umm.... What? I don't understand half of this stuff... |
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Though I particularly enjoyed "See Spot Run" |
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Am I experiencing a genuine phase of earthly existence?
Or a mere chimera?
Entrapped within a geological debris flow
No opportunity to evade present actuality.
Uncloak your oculi
Elevate your vision to the upper atmosphere and perceive
I’m merely a penurious minor, compassion would be inappropriate
Since I am relaxed about gaining and losing in life,
Sometimes jubilant, otherwhiles disconsolate,
Whatever direction the zephyr bestirs itself,
Is genuinely of little significance
To me, to me. |
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From the distant past I am able to reminisce
The way the melodiousness would induce delight.
I, too, was aware if an opportunity presented itself
I would be able to prompt certain individuals to agitation
And perhaps they would enjoy short-term exhilaration.
Alas, in mid-winter I was forced to undulate
Alongside each publication I had transported,
Despondency upon the threshold
Prevented me from continuing my perambulation.
Whether my lamentations made me lachrymose I cannot recollect,
Whereupon I learned news of a surviving spouse
Alas, I was affected acutely
Upon the occasion of the cessation of euphony.
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Adieu, adieu, wholesome delicacy,
I have guided my vehicle to the embankment but the embankment was arid.
Numerous fraternal acquaintances were imbibing alcoholic beverages
Whilst vocalizing harmonically, "without procrastination I shall perish this day,
Without procrastination I shall perish this day." |
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sufc, would you like that a la mode or warmed-up? |
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[Canuck]: use <br> between lines instead of double enter to effect a single line carriage return. I added them to your anno. |
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Many thanks, bris. Have a slice as well. |
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We may move rhythmically, should we so desire
Your comrades need not accompany us
They cannot move rhythmically; and given this
I feel no affection for them
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Let me state: we may adjourn to a place of our choosing
One your comrades cannot locate
We may thrash about like extraterrestrials
And travel far from our native world |
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'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're, no friends of mine. |
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Ah yes, the rhythmic movements of assurance. |
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<RHL8.0>/usr/games/fortune |
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Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
Fain how I pause at your nature specific,
Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous.
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
Fain how I pause at your nature specific. |
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Not trying to upstage twofries or anything, but I was hitting /usr/games/fortune repeatedly and suddenly it coughed up this gem. |
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At the hamlet in which my birth occured,
thither dwelled a male person who floated with kinetic energy over brine,
he informed me about his time spent on this earth aboard, a subaqueous craft whose hue resembled the portion of the spectrum lying between green and orange. |
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3 months later, I recognise kevin's |
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//in such a manner a lot is contingent on
a crimson circular frame revolving on an axis
with attendant cart
sugared in company H2O of the kind caused by
precipitation
by the side of uncoloured oven-ready fowl
po, Apr 01 2003// |
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po, nice,
the red wheelbarrow william carlos williams, my favorite
verse, and my second favorite in translation
thanks |
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please nobody mention how well y'all are baking this-- or
is it still ok until it gets in a book somewhere? what's the
ruling in a case like this? |
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2 frys, here's my buttery patisserie |
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It came to pass that a gregarious itinerant ensconced himself near a pool of water
Beneath the lower temperatures afforded by a Eucalyptus microtheca blocking the sunlight
Moreover, the itinerant did ululate whilst observing and biding his time prior to the liquid within his makeshift kettle attaining its boiling point
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Waltzing matilda
Waltzing matilda
Moreover, the itinerant did ululate whilst observing and biding his time prior to the liquid within his makeshift kettle attaining its boiling point
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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From above did approach a bovine in order to drink from the pool of water
Vertically the itinerant lunged and captured him with excitement
Moreover, the itinerant did ululate whilst forcibly placing the bovine into a sack for the storage of nourishment
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Waltzing matilda
Waltzing matilda
Moreover, the itinerant did ululate whilst forcibly placing the bovine into a sack for the storage of nourishment
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Soon arrived the apparent landowner, elevated upon his equine beast of pedigree
Soon arrived the constabulary, forming a triumvirate
"The location of the cheerful bovine you appear to have incarcerated within your sack remains unknown to us."
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Waltzing matilda
Waltzing matilda
"The location of the cheerful bovine you appear to have incarcerated within your sack remains unknown to us."
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Rapidly the itinerant hastened towards the pool of water
"It shall not happen that you should capture me whilst I remain in this state of incarnation", he pronounced
Moreover, the itinerant's ethereal being may be hearkened to as one traverses near the pool of water
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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Waltzing matilda
Waltzing matilda
Moreover, the itinerant's ethereal being may be hearkened to as one traverses near the pool of water
You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me |
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(With apologies to Banjo Patterson.) |
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It’s fruitless to make an enquiry as no reply will be forthcoming
Please recall that the decision is not mine
My deductive powers are non-existent and everything is overwhelming
We can inevitably be located in a madhouse
My, we are slightly,
Everso slightly, we are empty-headed! |
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Hello. I shall disclose to the observing individual to which this vociferation is directed the object of my desires with the emphasis firmly upon that which is the object of my desires.
So communicate to my personage that which you desiderate, that which you most definitely require surpassing all else.
I will inform you of my requirements, those requirements which are of the utmost importance to me.
So notify me of your needs, imparting those needs that are highly desirable to you as an individual.
My necessity is, my necessity is, my necessity is, my necessity is, that necessity which is exceedingly craved by me is to partake in
ziga zig ha |
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[po] That's the sound of lightning striking twice in a row. |
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If you miss me at my finest go to my recent notation on the "Coffee Cup of Shame". |
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it can be amusing to mix languages too. the
following looks like french, but try reading it
out and you should guess what it came from... |
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-----------------------------------------
Un petit d’un petit
S’étonne aux Halles
Un petit d’un petit
Ah! degrés te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse
Indolent qui ne se mène
Qu’importe un petit d’un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes.
-----------------------------------------
found on the net :- |
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http://www.creativepuzzels.nl/spel/speel1/petit-3.htm |
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Early part of day needs repairing,
like the first early part that got broken
A dark coloured feathered animal has said
a word or two on the subject, like the first dark
coloured feathered animal did.
Commend the warbling,
commend having the early part of the day
Commend for the jumping ahead not stale
from the laws. |
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Sugary is the new precipitation,
brightened from the sky
Like the initial wet deposits on the most
initial long narrow-leaved stuff
Commend the gift of this sugary wet backyard
Grown fully in the way of the Lord. |
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One of my favorite Cat Stevens songs. How'd ya know? |
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or should that be psychic? |
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His actions merited the incident
His actions merited the incident
He alone was the sole target of any possible accusation!
Had you been present at that moment in space and time,
Had you viewed what occurred there,
I would place a wager that your actions would have been identical to those taken! |
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Hey Hey Hey I'm back :D I hope those of you who know who I am have missed me suitable amounts.
I rather like this idea, however am rather poor with normal poetry let alone Theasaurised so I think I'll leave the verse well alone and just give the whole thing a '+' |
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Thanx eh. Glad your back.
[Tabbyclaw] you've got me stumped. |
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"Cellblock Tango." I'd watched "Chicago" right before I dropped by here. |
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Ok, keep going with your strange words and I will post my annotations and ideas in spanish from now on so you see what it feels like not to understand a damn thing! |
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Ha. Love this still. Just got neelandan's "Hey, fatty bum bum" anno way back there. |
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And [Pericles] What little mother?!? (says the fish) |
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I don't know about most of you but usually when I post an idea it has some type of origin or inspiration. A kernel of an idea that grows into something worthy of posting, or a pun that's not too terribly lame, but not so with this idea.
The translation of, twinkle twinkle little star, was in my head from some time in my childhood. I didn't look up the words before I typed them; the whole poem was just there in my head, fully formed.
I knew that it *wasn't* something I had read or swiped from someone else, but where it came from I couldn't tell you for the life of me.
This is no longer true.
The credit for the birth of this particular brain child goes to my fifth grade English teacher, Mrs. Paquete and an assignment which I believe she thought up.
It has been bugging the crap out of me that I couldn't remember how I got the idea and the other day it finally bubbled to the surface. <br
Mrs. Paquete, if through some quirk of fate you have found you're way to the Halfbakery, I will gladly bake you a croissant for every plus vote that your idea has received. |
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Pity, this was my, (I mean your), second best idea to date. |
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Thus, timid little bi-spud, pontificate in multitude de rigueur angelical salutations: "Exalt, mine abecedarian pedagogue. Exalt..." |
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tiger Lily, Oct 28 2003
[Tiger Lily] If you would like this anno gone, say the word. I just didn't want you to have to look it up again. |
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Rayford, that rendition of "See Spot Run" struck me as rather dirty. Even after I got that the "canis domesticus" was a dog and the "felis domesticus" was a cat, and I know that "ejaculate" can mean "to speak enthusisatically" I just couldn't stop my natural inclination... |
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There was a male of diminutive years who dwelled in Nantucket
Whose sexual member was so prodigidous he could suck upon it
While salivating his chin, he pronounced with a grin,
"If my hearing organ was a female sexual receptacle, I'd fuck it." |
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I know, I know, I lost a lot of oppurtunity by keeping the ryhme...but non-ryhming limericks are sacrilege. One might guess as to why I couldn't think of See Spot Run as anything but dirty... |
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[Eugene] Possibly the opposite? From 'limku' : |
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Man from Nantucket
Was generously endowed.
His ear was not safe. |
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//[Tiger Lily] If you would like this anno gone, say the
word. I just didn't want you to have to look it up again.// |
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Oh Spudly, twofold, commit no such act. Squelched I was
you perceived me not, heretofore, a
promenading
lexicon. Nonetheless, I am canonized. ;b |
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Exculpate mine impudence at disparaging thy grasp of jargon, honorable [Grimalkin Foreboding]. Mine own would be thus, druthers forthcoming. Alas. |
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For [Pericles]:
Semilla de una planta gramínea
con un líquido mamario, me
alegraría si pudiera
matrimoniarme con una mujer
lusitana que todavía no he visto el
vejez. |
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about twenty five years ago I was one of a hundred or so members of the college band expounding to the perspicacious practicians on the verdant grid "Repel them, repel them! Force them to relinquish the oblong spheroid!" |
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During the time immediately before the present
The one who is speaking
Doth rid of dirt, impurities, extraneous matter
Any of the areas into which a computer display is divided
In order that he may, perchance become
Duly, truly worthy
To acquire, free from fraud and deception
One bright shilling. |
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What's another word for "thesaurus"? |
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How about "onomasticon"? Oh wait, that's for proper names. |
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