h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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I had the privilege of finding the first tick of the season recently, and noted that where it had embedded there was a wheal of inflammation. The immune system is known to be active against warts but also against moles and other skin growths. I propose that the general invulnerable brutishness of ticks
be harnessed and used against the various warts, moles, acne and other unsightly ditzels to which skin is prone.
Special medicinal ticks would be grown in a lab, to prevent use of ticks carrying rocky mountain spotted fever or such. Around the wart or other target, a thin layer of adhesive foil is applied, leaving only a small opening immediately over the wart. The tick is placed onto this opening, and a small plastic cover is applied - thus if the tick is hungry, it must feed on the wart. The tick may initially be reluctant, but eventually it must "dig in".
Wart and tick then do battle. I believe the wart will invariably lose as the tick sucks out the vital wart juices and induces an inflammatory response to clean up the rest. The tick is then removed, using the lit match or other favored method.
Ticks are very tough and could be provided in refrigerated packets with a decent shelf life. I think, however, they should be available by prescription only, to curb the use of large quantities of ticks in horrendous pranks.
Wart immunotherapy
http://atlas.pharma...sing/displicopp/141
These folks use foot fungus and yeast rather than ticks. [bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
[link]
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Isn't this what Leechs do? |
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//I propose that the general invulnerable brutishness of ticks be harnessed // |
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// vital wart juices // Is this the proper medical term? |
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I've heard of lancing boils, but I don't think spots and warts can be cured like this. |
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// I propose that ... ticks be harnessed |
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Tick harnesses, of course. Like in a flea circus, only slightly larger. |
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Next, the pharmaceutical industry will develop a Tick to suck all the money from your wallet .....oh, wait .. |
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I take ticks as conclusive evidence of the existence of a greater evil at work in the universe. In the same way that one can see God's touch in the cute curve of a chipmunk's flank, or the chunky curve of a tiger's flank, or the graceful curve of an antelope's flank, or the odd curve of a chimp's flank, one can observe Beelzebub's work in the ghastliness of a tick's, well, everything. |
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I would rather *be* a tick than voluntarily put one on me, and I don't like ticks. No sir. |
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// I propose that ... ticks be harnessed |
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Snarf, I would be happy to post my 23 page grant proposal on Medicinal Ticks if you crave more exquisite details than my little synopsis up there can provide. |
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I have actually tried this bug vs wart procedure, using a mosquito - I theorized that the inflammatory response induced by mosquito bites is much more that that from ticks or leeches - plus there were lots of handy mosquitoes around. But I could not get it to bite the wart! Perhaps wart juice is intrinsically repellant. This opens a whole new avenue of inquiry into therapeutic wart induction as insect protection. |
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//Next, the pharmaceutical industry will develop a Tick to suck all the money from your wallet .....oh, wait ..//
would that be genetick engineering? |
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Wrote this a while ago, but it seems strangely apt
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Howard had spent his whole life trying to escape his eccentric past. It wasn't his fault he'd been born into a circus family. All he'd ever wanted was to live a normal, middle-class life - granted, as an acupuncturist his chosen career wasn't entirely conventional, but the profession was becoming more mainstream these days, despite what his bearded sister said. |
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So it came as a surprise when his father died and bequeathed his most precious possession to him. It would have been more obvious to leave it to his brother, the Dog-Faced Boy, but oddly it was Howard who inherited his father's treasured flea circus. |
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But maybe there was some logic behind his father's decision. Business had been slow recently, and Howard had been looking for something to set him apart from the growing legion of alternative therapists out there. Acupuncture fleas. It was definitely an idea to conjure with... |
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