h a l f b a k e r yNumber one on the no-fly list
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Avoid door-to-door salesmen, Mormons, neighbors, thieves or what-not.
This product replaces a standard doorbell and operate just like a standard doorbell. A second, normally open switch in parallel with the doorbell button is mounted in such a way as to detect (and close) when the door is opened.
After
being activated (the door being open) for 15 to 30 seconds, the unit calls out "Who is it, honey"? Giving the illusion of another party being home.
If the door remains open for more than one minute, the unit calls various phrases like "Honey, come here for a second!" or "Dear, you've got to see this!", with the calls becoming more and more frequent the longer the door stays open. This gives one the opportunity to beg off a conversation with a roll of the eyes and a "what can I do?" shrug.
Randomly set at the factory, the voice can be modified to change modulation, pitch and speed. A switch flips the unit from "male" to "female" effortlessly. The unit can be switched off for breezy evenings with the door open.
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Annotation:
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my dog usually barks and I call "ok, 'Killer' dinner's coming" |
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You guys still answer the door?! |
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I have rigged my door to greet visitors, who don't knock, with a 12 gauge |
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Your wife is back from a business trip, can't find the key and rings the doorbell. As you welcome her with a kiss, the new unit calls in a female voice, "Who is it, honey? Come on back to bed, now." |
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oh dear - there's trouble ahead.. |
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I had an idea similar to [FJ]'s, but it didn't involve coherent speech. |
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[Detly] - why would you want the Teletubby option? |
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[PS] Clearly Detly thinking more along the moaning and barking line...sorry di I say barking, I meant, I mean,... anyway I think the Teletubby one would be great for scaring away Mormons and Jehova's Witnesses.
Ding-dong
"Hello, who are you?"
"Hi, we're Hal and Greg and we'd just like to bring the word of Jesus and the book of Mormon into your lives"
Voice from afar:
"Ayo La-La! Ayo Po! You wan play chop-chop?"
"I'm sorry guys, but my deranged half-brother is about to come downstairs with an axe, would you excuse me?"
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[PS] Clearly Detly thinking more along the moaning and barking line...sorry di I say barking, I meant, I mean,... anyway I think the Teletubby one would be great for scaring away Mormons and Jehova's Witnesses.
Ding-dong
"Hello, who are you?"
"Hi, we're Hal and Greg and we'd just like to bring the word of Jesus and the book of Mormon into your lives"
Voice from afar:
"Ayo La-La! Ayo Po! You wan play chop-chop?"
"I'm sorry guys, but my deranged half-brother is about to come downstairs with an axe, would you excuse me?" |
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