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Are you disgusted when people chew on their pens? Do you mind overpaying heavily for ostensibly useless products? Boy, do we have just the thing for you!!
The Guilt-Trip(R) range of home and office products brings you yet another exciting invention, just in time for the new school year!
We give
you... The "Disappointed Mother" Anti-Chew pen. This amazing product combines hi-tech sensors and speakers and will make disappointed comments about your life and how worthless you have grown up to be when you begin to chew on the pen! Guaranteed to make you stop that disgusting habit! Can also be programmed to say that it doubts it will ever have grand-children!!
***Limited Time OFFER!!!!*** Buy 2 "Disappointed Mother" Anti-Chew Pens and get one "Cynical Older Sister" Motivational Career Advice DVD absolutely FREE!!!
Help file: tongue in cheek
http://www.halfbake...al/help.html#tongue
[jutta, Aug 25 2009]
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I don't have a stereotypical disappointed mother, and I don't have any stereotypical sisters either, cynical or otherwise, so I guess this one falls flat for me. |
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Perhaps we could include other clichéd stereotypes with which to imbue this pen. |
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I think there's an idea here. And not terribly off the
mark. I like parts of it, (guilt trip product line gave me
a chuckle. So neutral). |
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goodness, if chewing a pen is the height of disappointment, you can't be doing too bad. |
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wow, some of you take these 'inventions' very seriously. I dont doubt that most of you have very sympathetic mothers and sisters. I have a nice, non-disappointed mother myself. And I dont even have a sister. It's supposed to be funny because chewing a pen isn't that big an offense, and doesn't really warrant a disappointed, guilt-trippy mother... oh, well... if I have to explain it in excruciating detail, it's not a very good idea, is it? |
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It's all in knowing your audience. Which makes me think that with some, a pen that starts playing a chugga-chugga-oooh porn sound track and moaning softly as you nibble its tip might be much more of a deterrent than any fictitious misogynist stereotype would ever be. |
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Overly concerned mothers are a misogynist stereotype, but allusions to porn, and moaning (i'm guessing that would be a woman's voice moaning) are not? |
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Honestly, I'm not trying to be combative, but jutta, that's a weird take on things. But, you're right, it's all in knowing your audience, and boy, was I way off on this one... |
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> i'm guessing that would be a woman's voice moaning
That wasn't what I was thinking of. It's a pen. It's kind of a phallic shape, you know? So I'd expect the pen to sound kind of male if it's getting pleasure out of you nibbling its tip. Although probably high-pitched. I mean, it's also just a pen. |
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gotta admit a pen with the sound of a *male* pornstar getting it on would pretty well shut down whatever I was doing at the time... doubt I'd buy a refill though. |
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For what it's worth, [anandwshere], I chewed on pencils a lot. #2s to be exact. Yellow, crunchy, with a woody undertone, and a lead aftertaste. They were delicious. God, now I'm hungry. |
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//some of you take these 'inventions' very seriously.// |
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anand, this is in the nature of the Halfbakery. If someone
posts an idea for a custard-based Schrodinger's catflap, ten
people will analyse the relevant viscosities and another
dozen will draw attention to the missing umlaut. It's how
this place pays its way. |
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//the missing umlaut// It wasn't missing until you went and ... oh, never mind. |
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Don't be put off [anandswhere] your first idea sucks way less than my first several, you've just got to persevere. |
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sorta sounds like the low-key version of a locator-ankle-thing that convicted criminals can be forced to wear. You could put all sorts of horrendous things onto it: air-sampler for alcohol/nicotine/other, GPS for curfew, complementary devices so you don't hang out with the wrong crowd.... the mind boggles. |
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Nice. All it would take would be some pressure sensors. |
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"I'm so disappointed that you picked up the habit of chewing on your pen again. Why can't you be more like your older sister? She never uses too many exclamation points, either." |
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Thats not a comma, thats one of my missing apostrophes. |
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[does a double, then triple take...] |
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