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The Void
In the void, no one can hear you scream | |
You know when you´re working and you get so mad at your boss or at another colleague that the only thing you want to do is yell and cuss at them? Well, holding it in is bad for your health and actually doing it is bad for your career. Companies who recognize this and would like to provide some way for
their employees to safely vent their grievances, would install one or more of these AI-enabled, sound-proofed booths, to reduce mental-illness and improve the well-being of their employees.
So how does it work? The main part is obvious. If you're feeling angry at the point of snapping at your boss or another colleague, you just get into the booth. On the wall you'll see the text "What happens in the void, stays in the void". Now close the door, lock it, and start yelling. Yell all you want, cuss all you need. Nobody on the outside will hear you. This will help you release your tension.
But the booth can do more for you. The AI capabilities in the booth will gamify the stress release process to help you get your mind off of whatever was bothering you. When you finish screaming and cussing, the AI will congratulate on your cussing. A screen will show a dashboard with some statistics like max decibels, longest scream without stopping to breath, number of different cuss words used, most used cuss word, innovation in the use of cuss words, etc. You can also choose to see those stats against the companies average and your ranking on each of those metrics.
All the statistics are completely anonymous and nothing is recorded except for the computed statistics to make it impossible to extract any information that can be used against the employees.
[link]
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On the outside, big screens broadcast your antics to the rest of your co-workers. There are big warning messages flashed up: DO NOT LET PAULO KNOW YOU CAN WATCH THIS STUFF. DO NOT GIVE THE GAME AWAY. |
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Activate the cone of silence! |
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One question; do you need to be alone in the void? If not it raises all sorts of off-shoot possibilities. |
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This totally won't be used to record your inner thoughts for your boss's perusal. |
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In my day you just went up on the roof. |
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Also good. But no gamification, though [minoradjustments]. |
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That would only work the first time, right, [pomloc]? There would be one poor bastard who'd be the laughing stock of the whole company. But it would also be the only poor bastard to go through the ordeal. Except for the odd intern. |
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The company will define the policy, [2 fries]. But if you choose to go in with someone else, it doesn't really matter what you do inside, everybody will not only assume that you'll be boinking your colleague, but they'll also spend the whole time imagining it. From that point on, nobody will be able to look at you and the colleague without picturing both in the most varied of the Kama Sutra positions. There's also the fact that each void session is a maximum of five minutes, so, from that point on, people will keep commenting how five minutes is a bit short for proper foreplay. |
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My tongue wears out after about 3... |
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//everybody will not only assume that you'll be boinking your colleague// |
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Okay, but I meant more nefarious reasons where information could be shared that maybe shouldn't be. |
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Why? Are you a United Healthcare employee or something? |
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No. I just have the ability to think like bad guys in order to stay safe. |
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// Okay, but I meant more nefarious reasons where information could be shared that maybe shouldn't be. // |
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It's not exactly like The Void would be the only place on earth where people could share information for nefarious reasons. Humanity has been doing well on that chapter without specialized sound-proofed booths. |
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// My tongue wears out after about 3... // |
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Yeah, tell me about it... |
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