h a l f b a k e r yI like this idea, only I think it should be run by the government.
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Donald Trump has just informed the entire world that
the
sound emanating from wind farm turbine blades is the
cause of cancer. This is such great news as it presents
the
opportunity to finally create a cure for the disease.
Here's how that cure might work:
You take that
cancer
causing
turbine sound and use software to analyse it and
output its exact opposite waveforms. You then use this
waveform as a cure for cancer.
All true Trump believers can now be presented with the
choice electing to be treated with Negative Wave Sound
Therapy should it ever be their misfortune to develop
Wind
Farm Blade Noise Cancer.
[link]
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You see, what happens is that the windfarm drives
the locals to start chain-smoking. |
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So... does the President not have a pre-verbal-diarrhea fact checking staff... or does he just spew-forth and then damage control/spin doctor staff take over? |
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As a member of the big-bad-bully's conjoined, -lil -northrn -nayber -buddy, conglomerate I'm not really digging the scenarios that go along with the schoolyard bully getting his ass kicked by the group at large. That never goes well for little-buddy.
From my limited experience that has always been the time to sit big-buddy down and set'm straight in ways that would get almost anybody but little-buddy instantly slugged in the face. |
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once that doesn't happen... |
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Then there's a yuge fuss with big-buddy pouting in their cornflakes for a bit and then this overly emotional back-slapping sorry-man-I-love-you-man fest and the rest of the group reluctantly allows big-buddy to continue to hang because it's better than them freaking out, and eventually he learns to behave and becomes like group-champion he's supposed to be but wrongly identifies as because nobody's ever had the balls to tell the entitled shit that he's being an asshole and should chill the fuck out. |
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then big-buddy takes a poke at you because he's too insecure to deal with truth.
You're expecting it because you've instigated the shit-fest so you duck first and then retaliate as best you can and you take your lumps, but you make damn sure they know that they're in a fight and the rest of group usually tears them apart without you taking their ass kicking as well. |
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Seriously, delving into world politics seems to translate directly to observing children on an unsupervised playground. |
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Like Lord Of The Flies or some shit. |
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Show me a single case where a wind generator
turbine got cancer... |
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Trump lives with the constant fear that someone or something keeps messing up his hair. |
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It's the ghost of a dead wind turbine following him
around. |
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Why do you never see pick-your-own wind farms? |
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One cup of covfefe per day lowers your risk for cancer by 25%. |
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I wonder what the orangin of that story is. |
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Apples and origins - America's favourite fruit. |
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Ah yes, but Trump didn't say worrying about the
sound of wind farms caused cancer, he said it was
the actual sound of them that was the cause, so
even if you are not worried at all, that wind farm
sound is going to give you cancer. (according to the
world's leading cause of cancer from wind farm
sounds, Donald Trump) At least now there is a
potential cure. |
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[Wanders off to Google "Trump Windmill Cancer" ~ reads ~
giggles
uncontrollably for rather too long] |
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[Passes out temporarily for
want of oxygen] |
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[Recovers ~ giggles some more] |
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This is the sort of brain fart I don't expect outside the
comedy circuit from
anyone above the age of 7
before they've succumbed to dementia. |
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And America voted this guy into power? |
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[Feels momentarily superior.. reconsiders.. feels less smug] |
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But then again, our lot in the UK have continued to assert
for decades that the laws of supply & demand are somehow
magically suspended when it comes to immigration &
continue to repeat that lie even now long after the ONS
released a report saying "Um.. actually it has had an
effect". |
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So maybe this sort of idiocy in politicians isn't quite as
unusual as first glance might suggest. |
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There are people who sincerely believe that a pair of kangaroos hopped and swam from Australia to Iraq in order to take refuge from a flood in a giant wooden boat along with dozens of exemplars of carnivorous and venomous species. |
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Oh, and the boat was constructed single-handedly by one man with no previous marine construction experience and a prediliction for doing whatever the Voices In His Head told him to do, and floated perfectly the first time it was launched without having to allow time for the seams to swell, or needing any re-caulking. |
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These people are allowed to vote.Worse, they are allowed to reproduce. |
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Please explain again why Universal Suffrage is such a brilliant idea. This is not a rhetorical question - we are genuinely interested. |
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It's the penguins making their way from the South
Pole that always made me suspicious about that
story. I've seen kangaroos performing spontaneous
synchronised swimming so they're not such a
surprise. |
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/ /I've seen kangaroos performing spontaneous synchronised swimming // |
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Perhaps next time you should take just half the dose, and see ehat happens ? Or buy from a different supplier ... |
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I'm happy to believe the kangaroos made it. I mean, their
annual migration takes them half way around the world, so
getting from Australia to Iraq would not be such a big deal.
I'm not sure how they'd handle the navigation, though, since
they normally learn their migratory route by migrating with
individuals who know the way, and who can recognise
landmarks and (probably) sense the Earth's magnetic field.
So, it's tricky but not impossible. |
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No, hang on, I'm thinking of swallows. |
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Red ... no, blueAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa ... |
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Aren't kangarros just the adolescent form of swallows? Before they shed their fur and before their wings are fully developed? |
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//I'm not sure how they'd handle the navigation// |
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They follow the kangaroutes. |
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//They follow the kangaroutes// |
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[Strides grimly to the gun cabinet] |
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[Takes out the double barrel
blunderbuss (pre-loaded with two tins of six inch nails) &
shoots [AusCan] in the head with both barrels] |
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Sorry about that old chap but you appeared to be in some
sort of pain,
only
decent thing to do. |
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Sadly, you've missed his brain. Aim for where the voice is originating from, just below hip level. |
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Then again, it's a fairly small target ... |
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Can we make the case that Trump causes cancer by
stressing out much of the free world? |
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