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The Ultrasonic Shower App

 For that clean, clean feeling
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We've all said it: I feel like I need a shower. Perhaps that sleazy boss of yours just gave you a wink. Or maybe you read a NY Times Editorial where a dictator is lecturing your President on exceptionalism.

Whatever the need for immediate cleansing, now there's an app for that. Simply select that icon, and your smartphone will bathe you in soothing light while emitting powerful ultrasound that separates dirt particles from your body without doing any damage.

Using it as a bar of soap, you quickly pass it over all the relevant parts of your face and body, and feel clean as a whistle.

—theircompetitor, Sep 12 2013

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       *Shortens phone battery life remarkably.
—Vernon, Sep 12 2013
   

       As a phone app it's definitely destined to remain halfbaked. But it might be a good idea for a device in its own right. One that is about the size of a mobile, with a UV light screen that kills microbes, and has an ultrasonic feature to do what you describe - if its not bad science - and perhaps also vibrates or exxudes some sort of cleansing agent, whiles scraping with a razor. $599.99 at your gadget store.
—rcarty, Sep 12 2013
   

       What's this talk about the science being good or not. Since the dirtiness this is designed to work against is not physical dirtiness, why would it matter if the app actually removes physical dirt or kills microbes. The placebo effect is well documented science, and I believe it is especially applicable to non-physical conditions.   

       Battery life could be improved by playing back the ultrasonic noise at a fairly low volume. If possible, the light could be turned on at a low intensity "soothing" level, just bright enough that you can see that it is on. Note the "powerful ultrasound" is powerful compared to the background level of ultrasound and also powerful in the sense of the psychological effect in removing non-physical dirt. It is not necessarily powerful compared to the sound output of your normal ringtone.
—scad mientist, Sep 12 2013
   

       The talk about science is in regards to designing a device that physically does what the app does psychologically -- obviously for the placebo to work it has to be based on some sort of science, why else?   

       This might be a successful app, the trick is condensing the concept into a short saleable novelty idea, ultrasonic sterlizer, bar o'soap, etc. Something that captures the whole idea of feeling dirty and using the phone as a waay of communicating that feeling outwardly through the action of rubbing - perhaps to the sound of falling water, scrubbing and bubbles popping.
—rcarty, Sep 12 2013
   


 

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