The StrollerCoaster

I think we've all seen those twin baby buggies used by parents of small children. They have two seats side-by-side, and are usually to be found being pushed through town by a weary-looking mother, her life made all the harder by trying to shove this bulky monstrosity through masses of unsympathetic shoppers. The pushing parent gets tired, the tiny tots get bored and start hitting each other with their rattles, and, due to the sheer width of the thing, passers-by end up with barked shins and an angry attitude.

So, in order to keep everyone entertained and happy, here's what I propose: slim the stroller down to the width of a single seat, and have a kind of double-decker arrangement instead. But instead of these two seats being fixed, they're attached to a kind of Ferris wheel-type contraption, so that when you push the buggy forward the babies revolve up and over each other, much to their gurgling delight. The seats themselves are removable and reversible, so the wee tots can be either facing each other (so they can smile and wave at each other as they cycle past), facing outward, or set with one facing in and one facing out if they really don't get on (you can always paint pictures on the back of the seats or stick mirrors on to them for hours of peekaboo-style fun).

Admittedly, this wildly unrealistic idea does have a few technical snags. For instance, what you lose in width you gain in both height and length - this thing might be slim, but it's still going to be pretty big. I'm hoping that the sheer novelty value will make passers-by gasp in awe, and that the teeming crowds will part like the the Red Sea as you proudly perambulate through them. Also, the thing's going to have a very high centre of gravity - not very useful if you're tearing round a corner trying to catch a bus (which the damn thing wouldn't fit on anyway). Still, there's no reason why it couldn't have bike sized wheels at the back, angled slightly inward like the wheels on racing wheelchairs. Big wheels would also help for the gearing system that turns the Ferris wheel as you push. Alternatively, provide some ballast at the base of the buggy - a couple of car batteries might be ideal, as they would also remove the need for any kind of gearing system and just turn the wheel by electrical power alone. And recharge as the hapless mother goes downhill, wearing down the soles of her shoes trying to hold back the weight of this infernal machine.

There are variations, of course. If your kids really don't get on, you could always use the carousel-stroller instead. The babies sit back to back, and revolve horizontally as you push them about. Just don't feed them too many sweeties, as they could end up centrifugally spinning sick all over your shoes.