h a l f b a k e r yNow, More Pleasing Odor!
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Paul was ecstatic. He had just met a beautiful woman at the library
that morning, and already she wanted to come over to his place for
dinner. Paul was sure he'd get lucky tonight. He had just picked the
girl up at her house, and they walked together up the porch steps to
his front door. She
couldn't
help but notice the door was a pleasant
shade of spring green.
The girl was curious when Paul reached into his coat pocket and
extracted a ring that was positively full of keys. And most of them
looked like house keys. She also noticed that all the ones that
looked
like house keys were each a different color. Paul unlocked the door
with a green key, and opened it, and behind it was another door,
this
one the color of fresh curry powder. Paul then reached for a yellow
key.
The beautiful woman looked around her, at the neighborhood they
were in. It was an awfully pleasant place, she thought, and certainly
didn't look like a high-crime area. Still, she thought, maybe Paul was
just a
little overly cautious. No harm there.
Paul then opened the yellow door, and behind it was a third door,
this
one the color of a rosy red apple. And he produced a red key. At this
point, the woman asked Paul what was going on. Paul turned
around,
blushing slightly, and explained.
"I have one door for each of my 7 ex-wives. When they left, I just
didn't have the heart to change the locks. So I put a new door
outside
the one they had a key to. They also each seemed more upset than
the
last one, for some strange reason, so I justify the extra doors to
myself
as added protection in case one comes back for revenge. No
worries!
I'll have us inside in a jiffy!""
Paul turned back around and opened the red door. By the time he
got
inside and turned back around, the beautiful woman was long gone.
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- not somebody you would want to break up with. Why not simply add additional deadbolts? |
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It lacks the same symbology. Besides, there's something
distinctly more whimsical about an extra door than just adding
an extra lock. |
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Paul should have been so taken with his date that he
forgot to lock all seven doors of sentiment. |
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Paul is nothing if not practical. |
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Paul is screwed if all his ex's get together. |
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Albiet only two doors, I would need them to be reinforced and edged in razor wire. |
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When dealing with an ex that doesn't return his/her key, simply replace the entire entryway and have the old one shipped to their new digs:
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'You didn't win, but thanks for playing" |
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My ex flew back to Florida, more than 3000 miles away, so I
didn't think I needed to change the locks. About 3 months later,
the bitch mailed her key to a friend in Spokane, and the girl
came by while I was at work and took all the disputed property
we were fighting over, then shipped it to my ex. She even left a
note! My house was burglarized, and the police did absolutely
nothing. They said it was up to me to find out the girl's address,
then call the crime reporting desk when I had that information.
An extra
door would've prevented that! |
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I had two dogs, one of them with security training. Problem was,
they'd met her before so they thought she was OK to let in.
Anybody else would've been torn to shreds. |
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You need dogs that dislike women, perhaps? anyways, when you gonna learn that when you say something of what you said is funny, or whimsical or whatever for whatever reason, then it immediately loses the intended flavor. Just saying... don't waste your breath on people who can't be bothered to waste their thoughts.
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Finally, is this an invention? Or is it a 'lets all' put new doors up when we get a divorce. See... you've actually posted it in a 'let's all' fashion. To avoid this, you need to turn it into a service, or a product, that's all.. "This is an idea for a service that shows up and mounts a new door/small hallway in front of the old door..." "This is an idea for a modular door/hallway unit that fits over an old one for the sole purpose of symbology and whimsy..." yada yada neutral |
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Most women are afraid of snakes, mice and spiders AND half worn out string vests with heavily stained areas. |
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The invention is a a modular hallway designed in a staggered
fashion such that each inner door's hinges are mounted 4 inches
to the left of the the door immediately outside it. This allows all
the doors to open in the same direction without touching. When
you walk in, with all the doors open, it looks like a straight tunnel
that slants to the left, like a parallelogram. |
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I would like this story better if the stand-in for the readers were described as something real, rather than an abstract "beautiful woman"; and I need a better excuse for locking all those doors than that each was more upset than the last.
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Before I got to that explanation, I thought the story was set in a society where divorcees are settled with such extra entrances simply by custom, as a visible sign of their past mistakes, and increasingly dire warnings to future partners.
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[This is a surreal kind of invention that we have lots of on the site, and that I have no inclinations to administratively get in the way of. It's not a ``let's all.''] |
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Damn, no kidding I still have trouble understanding 'let's all'. I always thought it was for ideas where the poster wants some action to be performed by people, but no invention is necessarily made. Like the 'world wave' ideas.. kinda wish we had an mfd for this type of thing. Just read the help file on it, haven't been there in a while. My apologies to the poster. |
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'Sokay. I didn't understand your let's all claim though, because
nowhere did I say everyone has to do it for it to make a point. |
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gonna be a bit of a pain carrying wife #8 over the threshhold... hmm... haw, trying to pull a fast one eh? this won't work unless you have one set of doors for ingress and another door(s) for egress. |
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She grows up fast. She's a girl in the first two paragraphs, then suddenly a beautiful woman by paragraph three. How long did it take to get hold of that yellow key? Then I have this creepy feeling that 'long gone' means she'd died of old age by the last paragraph. |
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It's a lot cheaper to simply change the locks. I
replaced front and rear locksets and deadbolts for
under $50. |
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Well obviously, this isn't about cost. |
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Or function. Or practicality. Or aesthetics. |
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Aesthetics? The doors can be whatever shape, color, size, and
material the homeowner wants. From either the inside or
outside, you only see one door unless you have windows in the
doors. As far as function goes, it makes a mean security system.
As far as practicality, who cares? This is the HB man! |
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