The No.1 Honest Friend Agency

Thag was in good humour. It was a good party - the booze at Zog's was always excellent, the music was low key, the company was intelligent and interesting, and Thag was having fun. Still, now and then he kept glancing at his watch. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd set a timebomb going, and was just waiting for it to go off. He also couldn't shake a little anticipatory thrill...

And there it was now: a steadily widening circle of silence in the conversation. Thag peaked over a couple of heads; sure enough, there was Urma, outrage and shock making her look even more comical than usual. She was a good friend, and under normal circumstances Thag would be barging over there to see what was the matter - but right now he knew exactly what the problem was. He knew because he'd caused it.

And just at the edge of his hearing he could hear the other half of the conversation, saying "Sorry, but I couldn't help noticing it. Is it something medical? Do you brush your teeth regularly?" Thag buried his snigger in his wine. Urma was lovely, but her breath could stun a mammoth at sixty paces. You can't simply go up to someone you've been friends with for years and tell them something like that.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. It was a harmless-looking guy in a rather bulky jacket. "Hi", he said, stepping aside to allow Urma's insulter to slip past him. "Just thought I'd let you know, someone's left their headlights on."
Thag recognized his cue. "Oh, I bet that was me."

Once outside, Thag paid off his 'guest', who introduced him to the extraction team. He was called Fred. He was the guy in the bulky jacket, which turned out to contain some considerable hardware. "It's not normally necessary," he explained, "All of our operatives are highly trained martial arts enthusiasts, with black belts in origami and yogic flying, so they can normally handle themselves if the script doesn't go down well. Always wise to have a backup, though."
Thag agreed, and paid their hefty fee gladly. It was worth it to know that Something Had Been Said About the Breath.

The no.1 Honest Friend Agency also specialize in the Honest Shopper, who will tell you exactly what you look like in those lime-green paisley jodhpurs.

Edit: the No.1 Honest Friend Agency can also recommend their very own Tactful Mafia, who carry out the Gentle Hit - a highly trained ninja team follows the target, talking loudly in the background about the benefits of mouthwash and leaving copies of 'Dental Hygienist Weekly' in places where the target will stumble across them.

P.P.S A further service offered: the Name Hit. Have you forgotten the name of someone you've known for ages? Perhaps a work colleague, or a nodding acquaintance? We have operatives trained in Appearing Slightly Deaf, who will ask them their name several times and then repeat it loudly until you covertly signal to them that you've got it now, thanks.