The Inspection Racket

Approach the owner of a restaurant announcing that you are an agent with a private health inspection firm and that you have just completed an examination of the premises. Offer to transfer the exclusive rights in perpetuity to the use of the inspection report in exchange for a "licensing fee" of, say, $5,000. The report consists of technically true—but ultimately meaningless—scary sounding claims such as the following:

- On average, fewer than five insects or insect parts were found in each meal served

- Up to ten percent of meat was found to be well past its expiration date, or otherwise unfit for human consumption

- Employees who may have been sick were nonetheless regularly permitted to work

- Inspected food often contained large pieces of unidentified organic matter

- In several instances, significant quantities of deoxyribonucleic acid (a chemical often found in medical waste and raw sewage) were detectable in food served

- Several hundred strains of bacteria were identifiable within the restaurant, including E. coli

- Based on this inspection, we feel compelled to provide this restaurant with a "one star" health grade.

If the owner refuses to pay up, stand on the sidewalk outside the restaurant handing out copies to passersby until he does. Since you're not stating anything untrue, and aren't on his property, he can't compel you legally to stop.

NOTE: This is strictly a Gedankenexperiment. I strongly advise people NOT to actually do this.