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The traditional wall of death consists of a number of
fearless
riders on motorbikes who hurl themselves around the
inner
walls of the famous arena to entertain the audience
peering in safely from above.
That's no longer enough these days, so as an innovation
they have now added a passenger
to each bike. Facing to
the rear, and attached to the rider by a secure harness,
each of the passengers brings an additional feature to
the
event in the form of the playing of a set of bagpipes.
Naturally the bikes have been modified with sound
deadening silencers to ensure that the characteristic
combined drone of the bagpipes playing a continuous
note
is clear and dominant, as they fling themselves around
the
inner perimeter of the confining walls.
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Will there be an option for the audience to pick off the bagpipers using high velocity projectile weapons ? |
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Or to phrase it more explicitly, we will attend specifically to pick off the bagpipers using high velocity projectile weapons, because that's what we bring to the party, |
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For some reason for a moment I was thinking this was a
great army of bagpiper infantrymen, advancing all bunched
together like noisy hoplites in formation. That would be an
interesting psychological warfare addition to any battle. Of
course maybe this is already done in Scotland. |
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Considering that the bagpipe isn't much more than a couple
of vuvuzelas connected to a continuous air supply, there's no
wonder the English would be motivated to stop the noise by
any means possible. |
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I'm just curious...how does your brain work? How do you come
up with these circus-like, awfully fun, very dangerous, and
deadly ideas? I want your brain for a day, well no, maybe just
an hour would do the trick. |
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We'll be happy to pop it in a mason jar and send it to you. Free shipping and handling for standard mail, extra for airfreight. |
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Actually, the mason jar is a bit pointless. We've just found one of those miniature preserve jars that are used as part of in-flight meals ... more than big enough. |
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It was my brain being requested, not yours.
Anyway, without your brain wouldn't you risk one
of your tentacles getting caught (again) in a
clothes peg when you're out nicking washing from
the line at the local geriatric hospital? |
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But they're our clothes ... they take your stuff here, you know ... they hide it ... and then they swap it for something that looks identical but isn't as good ... they sneak in in the night ... whatever happened to that nice Mr. Macmillan ? |
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He was sent to another institution where his psychotropic
chemical experimentation would be more appreciated. |
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This idea made me say "why?". [+] |
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My sentiments exactly, [voice]. Why, indeed? |
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Perhaps bagpipes could be incorporated directly into the
motorcycle exhaust? No need for a separate bagpiper or
motorcycle exhaust... this "bagpipe exhaust" would
additionally be computer linked to a pipe-organ type
mechanism such that a bagpipe march automatically plays.
The song to play could vary based on revs and speed. |
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I imaged the wall incorporating the infamous instruments, various circumferences with associated notable drones. |
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