h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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The Firing Guy
A guy who tells people they're fired so the boss doesn't have to. | |
Telling someone they no longer will be
recieving a paycheck and thus must make
other arrangements to pay the bills can be
tough. People cry, they shout, and
occasionally re-enter the workplace with
.45 violent intentions.
Not after the Firing Guy is implemented.
The Firing Guy is trained
in the art of
expending assets. He (or she) takes
whatever approach neccessary.
"You're fired...get the fuck outta here!"
"I'm sorry, Gary, but...the company has
decided to let you go. It's a shitty world
and it was a shitty job anyway. Let me
stand you a couple rounds at O'Toole's."
"Mary, the management feels that your
skills would be best employed in the local
red light district. Here are their business
cards, you can start building a client base.
How about a freebie before you go?"
The Firing Guy would roam the
corporation's bases across the nation,
firing wherever he goes. Of course the
company employs more than one Firing
Guy...so they can fire each other.
The Office
http://funnyfox.org/theoffice.htm
Take one. [reensure, Jun 01 2005]
U R out: man fired by SMS
http://www.smh.com..../1050172541832.html
...from the Sydney Morning Herald [Detly, Jun 07 2005]
[link]
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A Fire-O-Gram, eh? Interesting, though many managers seem to do a lot of their 'managing' (possibly including hiring and firing) via email these days (I have an image of the 'pointy-haired boss' of Dilbert fame). |
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By the way, why would Mary's skills be more suited for the red light district? |
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Apparently Mary slept her way to the
top...that's what they're saying in the
breakroom anyway. |
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Shame I'm at a lower end of the ladder than she is... |
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Depends on your job. I've worked at a
couple different eateries I was sick of. I
was incredibly glad to get fired at Pizza
Hut and Quizno's. |
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Maybe Mary just slept her way to lower
middle secretarial management. |
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I seem to recall an episode of the TV show Cheers where Norm performed this exact function. And I imagine there have been several variations of this job in a variety of media (comics, cartoons, movies, print, etc.) so I'd like to invite the Firing Guy to introduce you to Mister MFD. Sorry, Eugene. |
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So, this idea says that we should have people who know how to fire people, and we should have people who can do everything but fire people? This seems a foolish distinction, not to mention one that has been seen many times before. |
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Baked. Ian McGregor performed almost exactly this role when Margaret Thatcher employed him to ruin (sp. amended) the National Coal Board. |
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See also: The movie "Office Space". Two consultants named "Bob" reveal they feel it's best to fire people on Fridays. |
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Exactly what [Canuck] said. Poor old Norm. |
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I just liked the idea of Firing Guys firing
each other. |
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//employed him to run the National Coal Board// Shouldn't that read "run the NCB down" ? |
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I had to do this. I thought the Firing Guy was another name for Lower Management. It sucked. |
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Not even a week after I quit that job, when my replacement fired someone, the fired beat on the "Big Boss's" door yelling, "I know you're in there! I just want to talk to you for a minute!" The Branch Manager never opened the door. |
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I'm so sorry I missed that. |
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//Shouldn't that read "run the NCB down"//
Corrected. |
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