Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Crown Affair

The Corona Climate Conspiracy
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In our new bestseller, a mad scientist in China realizes that the only way to save humankind from itself is to start a pandemic that breaks the back of the oil industry and forces the world to reexamine its priorities in the face of the coming climate change.
theircompetitor, Apr 22 2020

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       seems like it should be in the blatantly idiotic predictions... oh wait it’s real
xandram, Apr 22 2020
  

       Are the movie rights available ?   

       Cheap to make, 'cos you can use lots and lots of stock news footage.
8th of 7, Apr 22 2020
  

       [xandram], that was funny till it sank in and then made me shiver in my shoes.
blissmiss, Apr 22 2020
  

       Change it from China and you've got a movie contract coming to you.   

       Brilliant idea, I'd read it. (If I read, which I don't. Audiobooks only.) The written word is a notch or two above scratching out pictograms on a cave wall. The sooner we get rid of these anachronistic scribbles the better. It's time to start making some progress. Then it'll be time to replace spoken words. Primitive grunting noises had their place, but what's the data transfer rate of a spoken sentence? Someday we'll look back, register humor and send out data packets accordingly.   

       And while we're at it can we stop patting ourselves on the back for coming up with this ancient binary code nonsense? It's an analog universe and we're still thinking we're clever for painting inefficient models of pieces of it using ones and zeros.   

       If you're going to rule the universe you have to know how to built it first. You don't do that with Legos and Tinker Toys.
doctorremulac3, Apr 22 2020
  

       No, but that's the starting point. Lego, alphabet blocks, Bowie knife, Tower of Hanoi, Newton's cradle. Next, Meccano, then real but simple devices - lawnmower engines.   

       Pretty soon you're shunting asteroids into different orbits and folding ordinary 7-space into short-lived but entertaining Warp bubbles as a party trick.   

       Start with the simple stuff, work your way up. Unless you can find a Black Monolith to sit round and gibber at. Quicker, but technically it's cheating.
8th of 7, Apr 22 2020
  

       [+] China is one of the old ones.
wjt, Apr 23 2020
  

       China has been a Bogeyman for the U.S. for centuries. It's a shoo-in.
8th of 7, Apr 23 2020
  
      
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