Not being religious, I feel no need to attend regular
services in churches, chapels, chantries, chancels or
cathedrals.
However, I enjoy a little quiet contemplation as much as
the next man. Time to download all of the drama and
hustle that engulfs my life whenever I'm awake.
Therefore,
"UB Still Now" have begun a worldwide
"movement" to consecrate (and desecrate) every toilet
in
this land and yours, to the cause.
This will necessitate a building boom, to construct more
toilets as demand will rapidly increase with people using
the crapper not just to purge themselves of waste but
also
of stress and other undesirable emotions and the like.
(This is our first contribution to resolving the world's
economic woes).
Now, you no longer simply take a dump but also rid
yourself of toxins and all manner of worldly burdens.
You'll
also have time to think more deeply and critically, on
how
to solve the problems you see around you, daily.
Simple hymnals and catechisms will be left in every
cubicle
(probably by the Gideon Society) to assist new followers
to
join the "movement" and thus make the world a better-
(fertilised) place.