The Cake-u-later

This is an interactive distance control cake stand based upon ADC technology in cars, for use by struggling would-be dieters as part of a daily monitored exercise régime. Load on the cake of your choice, flip the switch and watch the Cake-u-later move to standard distance; once this position is achieved, start to follow it. You'll soon find that the slower you go in pursuit, the shorter is the distance maintained by the Cake-u-later. Once you achieve the dietary nirvana of ceasing to chase altogether, the Cake-u-later is programmed to allow you to slice one small weight-controlled piece of its payload. Attempts to exceed this limit or even steal the whole cake will result in loud and embarrassing warnings being issued and gaining you unwelcome attention from passers by.