h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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The attitude hand would be installed in the grill of the car. It would perform a variety of functions depending upon what a specific traffic situation called for, and would be aimed toward all those "dead from the neck up" drivers out there that often take vacations and other long trips. There would
be a control panel in the car to program the hand to deliver a sign bearing message or perform other functions such as crashing through the back window and smacking the person in the back of the head, to tapping them on the shoulder and motioning "get the hell out of the way" in an attitudinal manner. Creativity of sign bearing messages would be an option programming for vehicle owners.
The hand would be large with fat fingers and would wear a white glove upon it that would glow in the dark. Multi-lane traffic drivers, for example, that park in the wrong lane could be sent a variety of message depending upon performance style. Those drivers who love to fly up behind you while you are trying to pass someone and cut radically in between you and the driver you are passing missing each of you by one inch could be dealt with as well. Couldn't road rage take on a new and much more professional image?
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I once rocketed a lousy cheeseburger straight into a car (he'd narrowly missed a pedestrian while coming to a very late stop) while we were both making left turns in opposite directions. Still got the ol' pitching arm. |
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[thumbwax] I'd love to do that with a stink bomb. |
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My brother and I once pelted a tailgater with ketchup covered fries. Figured out the perfect angle and power to lob them out the window to land right on his windshield, as he drove two feet from the rear of my car at 75. He finally backed off when I held up my half eaten burger... |
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When I was a kid, some friends and I were throwing jello at each other's cars at 100km/h. We were mainly aiming to hit the windshield to make some neat splatter effects. However, we threw a jiggler out the window, and it ended up inside of the other car, hitting a friend in the face. It was pretty funny, and quite amazing since we were about 20 feet ahead of them. The speed (or lack thereof) that we threw them out the window and the air resistance of 100km/h would have meant that there'd only be a window (no pun!) which the angle would work to get it right. |
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Yeah... good times. good times. |
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