h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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The 14 Steps of Paranoia
the number is a red herring. In reality, the number of steps would be a closely guarded secret. | |
A staircase with a random number of steps, each step constructed of
varying tread depth and riser height. The goal being to slow down
(and hopefully bring down) an intruder in the night. The hand rail also
has randomly spaced gaps in it. If you used fancy technology and
weren't concerned with
cost,
the steps and rails could randomize at
random periods throughout the day.
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Annotation:
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Pleasantly surprised at how much I like this. + |
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I have a less creative intruder deterrent that nonetheless
resembles this idea in function if not form; a pair of
littermate pit bulls sleeping at the top of the stairs.
They're not particularly vicious or even ill-tempered, but
they're easily excitable and they go down a staircase like a
herd of buffalo caught in an avalanche. |
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And don't forget to include an interlocking set of stairs above that
fall down like a trap, mashing the intruder as if inside giant teeth,
and extracting the
juices. |
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somehow I remember ideas like this violating the rule against ideas intended to harm intruders. |
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No harm is intended, though some incidental risk to the
end-user may be imposed by activation of the device. |
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If these are the 14 steps of paranoia, the 13th should
be the last. |
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Many mediaeval castles had a "trip step" that was designed to catch out an unwary intruder who might be hurtling up the steps of a keep's stone stairs. |
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Falling down a flight of stairs in full medieval battle-rattle... what I
wouldn't give to be there to see it happen. |
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Yeah I would definitely have the first section being normally spaced stairs, just to lul them into a false sense of security - then BAM - a higher step with protruding lip followed by three short steps. A dry ice-in-water smokescreen waterfalling down the staircase would suitably hide the hazard. |
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