Tesla taser payback pack

This new BorgCo gadget is the must-have gift this Autumn.

It consists of a close-fitting undergarment which covers the centre body mass, a pair of thick-soled shoes, and a backpack containing Lithium primary batteries, control electronics, and a Tesla coil.

The undergarment consists of conductive mesh backed by Kevlar (which can not be penetrated by Taser darts).

The boots have thick, insulating soles with metal stud contacts on the bottom; they are linked to the backpack by flexible EHT cables.

If the mesh is contacted by taser darts, the electonics sense the voltage and dump the entire output of the primary batteries into the Tesla coil. One side is connected to the conductive mesh, the other to the boots via the cables.

The taser user then becomes a resistive element in the Tesla coil's output circuit. Current flows along the taser wires, through the user, to ground - then back through the ground to the boots.

The thin taser wires will vaporize instantly, but the energy of the discharge is such that a plasma conduit is sustained for many seconds over a distance of a few metres - once the conduit is established, the energy required to sustain it is much lower than that necessary to create an initial "strike" across the gap; the current delivered is designed to be an absolute minimum of 500mA through the arc, meaning that the battery will deplete proportionately faster for longer distances.

The wearer, being isolated from ground, is unaffected, but anti-flash goggles are advised.

Warning: This device may cause serious injury or death if used correctly.