h a l f b a k e r yFaster than a stationary bullet.
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These unique, baked clay, garden gnomes are dressed in brightly colored knee-length tunic uniforms and armor. Each half meter tall Sino-soldier carries a sword, spear or crossbow and has distinct hair and facial features.
Arrange a squad or platoon of warriors in columns on the lawn to deter salespeople
and display your turf sovereignty to passers-by. For every 50 ordered, you receive free of charge a mini clay soldier gnome for burial with your pet carp, hamster or Uncle Ernie’s urn.
Starter Army Available Here.
http://www.martiala...otta_Warriors.shtml
Unfortunately, these come in various sizes without a lot of variety in each size lot. Hand-painting and weatherproofing appears to be left up to the consumer. [jurist, Oct 18 2004, last modified Oct 19 2004]
[link]
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I'd love to not just arrange them for battle, but move them a little bit each day to perform practice battles for the long-term enjoyment of observant passers-by. |
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On the verdant field of battle Emperor Gnin's warrior gnomes await the enemy. In the eirie pre-dawn stillness, a thunderous cacophany of clay hooves causes the marsh birds to explode from their wetland roosts in a swirling vortex of color and sound.
The stage is set. There will be no quarter asked, for none will be given.
The advancing army are the remaining vestiges of Gnin's most honorable enemy's forces, they are to be slain with no mercy.
This day will live in infamy.
This day will witness the fall of the last Gnomurai. |
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Lord but it annoys me when people mix up China and Japan with impugnity. Or even impugnomy at that. |
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Not as much as it annoys the Chinese. |
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General Terra Cotta, I presume. <extending hand> |
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Then, an entire platoon just disappears overnight, without any clues or trace of what happened. (One of the famous mass disapearances in history; rather recent) |
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Of course, they might later be found buried next to their Terra Cotta Emperor. |
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They show up later in a series of random photographs of famous world monuments. |
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I see teenagers with air rifles by night. |
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I see the end of the proud terracotta warriors. |
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Luckily their last meal was a very tasty bun. + |
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Terracotta? Make them out of solid lead. Then you won't be sent pictures of warrior gnomes on some bizzare Bushido gnome road trip. Now Terracotta Warrior Gnome coffee mugs.... |
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Solid lead gnomes in my garden? Here have a lovely tomato [Mr.Dali.] |
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Mayhaps terracotta versions of the Lantanese gnomes made famous in Dragonlance novels. They'd be a great addition to the gardening section of Hot Teapot. |
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Rather than world travels, in short order, these will be found invading other lawns, threatening the more standard peaceful gnome, or even hunting a cement duck. |
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You could play neighborhood RISK with
the warrior gnomes and your lawns. + |
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