h a l f b a k e r yWhat was the question again?
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Excellent [xenzag]. Your croissant is warming over
the camp fire. [+] |
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High praise indeed, from the purring one. |
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Hey, if it's a good idea, it's a good idea. |
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Can also be used to dispatch amorous hillbillies, assuming your Appalachian vacation goes typically awry. Or, indeed, members of the Transylvanian undead, if you're using old school wooden pegs. |
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Making the pegs "self-removing" by means of a small charge in the tip would be useful. |
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Grudging bun for potentially lethal projectile weapon. [+] |
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The laziest way to put up a tent, however, is to buy a
camper. Some even come with generators, which can then
be used to run compressor-powered tent-peg guns. |
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// Can also be used to dispatch amorous hillbillies,
assuming your Appalachian vacation goes typically awry. // |
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You should try camping in Northern Appalachia instead; the
wilderness is rugged and unspoilt, the natives are
grudgingly friendly, and best of all, none of us will rape
you. |
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I hear they have seriously special corn in the Appalachians too..... see link. (I'm on my way, squealing like a pig at the very thought) |
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The invention Bedouin Nomad tribes have been dreaming about. eliminating all need to lug tents around. Just squat and peg galabaya wide at hem. Instant tent. |
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// the wilderness is rugged and unspoilt, // |
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//the natives are grudgingly friendly, // |
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Kind of hard to tell, since their linguistic skills seem to be limited to grunts and gestures. There are a few "intellectuals", who are conversant with fire and the use of edged stone tools, but they are few and far between. Demonstrate to the indigenous inhabitants that you can walk and chew gum simultaneously, and you'll be worshipped as a God. |
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// and best of all, none of us will rape you // |
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Forget it then, we'll go to wales, where men are real men, and sheep are nervous. |
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// none of us will rape you//
Do you mean that scene in Deliverance was a spurious contrivance? |
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I dunno 'bout that. That's in _southern_ Appalachia. I was
just saying that up here in Northern Appalachia, we don't
rape tourists. |
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/The laziest way to put up a tent, however, is to buy a
camper./ |
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Buy a person to go camping in place of oneself? That is
indeed the laziest way to put up a tent. |
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It's camping by proxy. We're available by the day and week.
Call today for all your wilderness experience surrogate
needs! |
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//Buy a person to go camping in place of oneself?
That is indeed the laziest way to put up a tent.//
No, virtual camping is even lazier. Maybe Sims
camping. The no one gets any exercise or fresh air.
The only things moving are electrons and some
photons. |
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Until the Call of Nature sounds, that is. |
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Needs explosives. I propose a hilti-gun version. |
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Anyhoo, I haven't used a tent peg in years, and I probably go camping 20 times a year. They're called freestanding tents. The tension in the fabric from the poles holds the tent upright - no pegs needed, just some ballast (Ie throw your backpack inside). |
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I showed up to my campsite with square pegs, only to
find that the site had round holes. I was ready to give
up and head to a hotel when a fellow camper gave me
the tent-peg nail gun. Worked like a charm, that
compressed gas! |
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One word: Hammerdrill. (Or is that two words...?)
Except that would require custom threaded pegs. |
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Anyone using a Hilti-style peg-gun near my campsite is
running the risk of provoking return fire. |
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Oh, wait a minute. I just checked the [The Alterother]
operations manual, and it turns out anyone in my general
vicinity is liable to be shot at for no reason at all. Never
mind. |
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I guess my original point was that there's more than one
thing that goes 'BANG!' in the woods. |
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//more than one thing that goes 'BANG!' in the
woods.// |
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Yeah, I've been wondering about that. Did the deer
displace air when it appeared in front of you? Would
give rise to a characteristic "double-bang" analogous
to the famed "double-flash." |
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No, the actual re-materialization process, while it is quite
rapid (else I would have had time to swerve), takes place
too slowly to create a full thunderclap effect. It's more of
a Nightcrawler-esque 'Bamf', according to my listening
devices (I must rely upon intelligence gathered since
beginning my heroic campaign to rid the world of this
growing menace, as I have yet to recover any
recollection of the initial encounter and it is unlikely that I
will). |
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The dematerialization either employs sound-
dampening technology (to conceal the blink-deer's point of
origin), or has yet to be captured on digital record. |
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As of yet, no visual evidence has been confirmed, but we're
getting closer. |
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Over-engineered, Dangerous when used as intended, down right lethal if used for unintended purposes... |
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This idea meets all the criteria for bunnage, in my book. |
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