Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Teletubbing

...or what you will
  (+6)
(+6)
  [vote for,
against]

Attached to a sloping hill, in a place not far from here, is a large and sprawling park. In this park are several giant Belgian hares - some say rabbits - perusing the vegetation in their quiet, nervous way, foraging as God intended for them to do amongst the grasses. A gentle breeze, accompanied by the sounds of birds, stirs the carpet of flowers peppering the ground from here to the horizon.

You stand at the top of the hill overlooking the scene. You are fully ten feet tall (with your hat) and you can hardly bend your arms or your knees. You adjust the gigantic head so that you can see more clearly. A giggle begins. You turn clumsily to see other tinky-winkies and laa-laa's beside you, stumbling up to the lip of the hill, wrestling with costumes. There is an expectant pause. Suddenly an anonymous dipsy yells, "Race ya," and as one body, the whole lot of overstuffed, brightly colored teletubbies plunges over the cusp, tumbling, twirling, spinning, rolling, laughing. Thin ribbons of sky and grass, sky and grass spin across your view with the occasional rabbit (or hare) springing lightly away. Off in the far distance you can just make out a little po following the herd down, down, down…

…to a conveyor belt where you lay laughing and giggling and feeling very dizzy and very happy, and in this condition you are brought again to the top of the hill.

*sigh*

daily, weekly, and monthly passes available.

(with beer tent.)

k_sra, Sep 04 2003

Before beer tent... http://home.datacom...rch/teletubbies.jpg
[k_sra, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

...After beer tent http://www.markryde...gs/two/tubbies.html
[k_sra, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       is there a beer tent?
po, Sep 04 2003
  

       I'm scared.
DeathNinja, Sep 04 2003
  

       "I get knocked down.... but I get up again..." - Teletubthumping.
waugsqueke, Sep 04 2003
  

       This is much better than teletubing, the transference of thought by *inner* tubes.
FarmerJohn, Sep 04 2003
  

       Don't be scared, [DeathNinja], you can be Mr. Noo Noo.   

       I have been spinning.
k_sra, Sep 04 2003
  

       I'll give a (+) if there's a beer tent!
silverstormer, Sep 04 2003
  

       eat yer tubby custard up first. puts a window on your chest.
po, Sep 04 2003
  

       So it's nothing to do with commuting while bathing?
RayfordSteele, Sep 04 2003
  

       I'll drink a Tubbytoast to this idea!
egbert, Sep 04 2003
  

       //So it's nothing to do with commuting while bathing?//   

       Ew! Brings new meaning to "carpool."
k_sra, Sep 04 2003
  

       Aaargh! Real Life Alert!!!
egbert, Sep 04 2003
  

       Now, now eggy, it's nothing to get excited about.
k_sra, Sep 04 2003
  

       don't take much to get him egg-cited
po, Sep 04 2003
  

       Hah! A Noosayer!
egbert, Sep 04 2003
  

       And what would one of those be doing visiting this site?
egbert, Sep 04 2003
  

       I thought we called them Trolls?
silverstormer, Sep 04 2003
  

       i take it there are failsafes against things like, oh...breaking your neck....
Eugene, Sep 04 2003
  

       Yes, failsafes. It didn't really fit in the poetic structure, but reinforcing in important areas of the costume would be mandatory.
k_sra, Sep 05 2003
  

       Is this a long hill, specifically for rollypollying down whilst dressed as a teletubby? Nice one. Just be sure to remove all thistles and cowpats first (I am speaking from experience).
squeak, Sep 05 2003
  

       As long as they were crusty cowpats, they would be ok. The Tubbies could play frisbee then.
silverstormer, Sep 05 2003
  

       The best ones for frisbeeing are those with a crispy edge for grip and aerodynamics but a soft middle for splat-factor, especially if you are throwing them at someone else. Still, you should remove them from the rolling area first. Maybe have them as an extra attraction, a little stand selling perfectpats for 50p to amuse you between rollings.
squeak, Sep 05 2003
  

       You could save some £s and lose some lbs by rolling your own pats.
FarmerJohn, Sep 05 2003
  

       its just like when thoes bullies stuffed me in a rashcan and rolled me down a hill, just with a beer tent at the attraction, and maybe a little more annoying ... I LIKE IT! [+]
Letsbuildafort, Sep 05 2003
  

       Silverstormer, everyone knows that is what Tubbytoast is for.
egbert, Sep 05 2003
  

       Mommy...*tug...tug* Why is Dipsy tipsy?
RayfordSteele, Sep 05 2003
  

       Eh Oh!. Another winner.+
gnomethang, Sep 05 2003
  

       Weeeeeeeee! Again! Hee hee! +
sartep, Sep 10 2003
  

       [sarty]! Where have you been? <fists akimbo>   

       BTW, beer tenters beware! See links...
k_sra, Sep 11 2003
  

       thems alien teletubbies - oooh arh. <runs away>
po, Sep 11 2003
  

       Ninja Tubbies!
egbert, Sep 11 2003
  

       Did you know that if you roll down a hill repeatedly, and then drink plenty of beer, you can actually see a baby's face in the sun. True story.
dijontoothpaste, Sep 11 2003
  

       does anyone know, is that arabic on their screens?
po, Sep 11 2003
  

       Well, the "13" is in Arabic numerals, but the po has an Om symbol (I believe) on it. Not sure about dipsy or tinkywinky back there.
k_sra, Sep 11 2003
  

       What the ? I get this one about as well as I get the actual show, which would be just about not at all, but my 2 year old sure loves it. I guess I should ask him.   

       + anyway, I'm not sure why.
oxen crossing, Sep 11 2003
  

       How could I not approve?
laa-laa, Sep 11 2003
  

       Beats skiing.   

       (Actually, I've never been skiing, but I imagine my technique would be very much like this).
egbert, Sep 11 2003
  

       Weird. Fun. Croissant.
Tabbyclaw, Jul 16 2004
  

       Thanks, [Tabbyclaw]. *sniff* I could use a good roll down a hill today.
k_sra, Mar 24 2005
  

       A hay-covered hill, [k_sra] ?   

       Hang tough, spring is on it's way.   

       [edit] Although I confess I did expect hottub-teleconferences. I could really get into doing business that way.
normzone, Mar 24 2005
  
      
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