Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bite me.

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Tache Top

PCs for users with stiff upper lips
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This is a very small computer that sits on your top lip, hiding in the form of a moustache. Early models might have to be rather enormous, so stealth would not be a start-up feature.

Data-entry is acheived through preening and fondling it in a systematic manner. Information could be read via a pair of connected flying googles or via some eyebrow head-up displays. Verbal commands like "chocks away" and "smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" could be used too.

Extra computing power could be hidden away in a pipe, some slippers or a taxidermied black labrador.

This idea came to me when I considered that a stack of laptops could be shuffled like cards and my mind free-associated to this rather bizarre computer format ...

Aristotle, Mar 11 2009

The Handlebar Moustache Club http://www.handlebarclub.co.uk/index.php
To act as a reference for possible styles. [Aristotle, Mar 11 2009]

[link]






       Liptop computing is evidently the future - however, based on previous technological progression, what will start as fine, bushy handlebar or walrus moustaches (with optional mutton-chop peripherals) will inexorably streamline into neat, clipped toothbrush or pencil varieties or (yegads!) may form into widely distributed stubble arrangements.
zen_tom, Mar 11 2009
  

       - and Apple will produce a thinner, shinier and more expensive 'tache.
hippo, Mar 11 2009
  

       fine until your eyes get stuck like that.
k_sra, Mar 11 2009
  

       It would be hard for me to explain why i suddenly had a moustache, as it would for about half of the adult population plus various children. Would there be pubic, armpit or toupee options?
This reminds me of that 6502 heel computer used to cheat in a casino, whose name i forget.
nineteenthly, Mar 11 2009
  

       There is always the plastic eyebrows, glasses, nose and moustache combination that allows the wearer to resemble Groucho Marx. This classic ensemble would make this technology available to all.
Aristotle, Mar 11 2009
  
      
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