h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Exactly like table football, but with sausages on the sticks, instead of those little men.
Table heated from underneath by propane burners, team A scores a goal and the heat on team B's side is turned up.
First side to be well done get eaten.
Proposed first match, Cumberland vs Lincolnshire.
Hooman Foosball
http://www.designso.../human_foosball.jpg
[theircompetitor, Dec 09 2013]
world's largest sausage..
http://www.atlasobs...d-s-largest-sausage
...won't work on here as automatically offside in any position, [not_morrison_rm, Dec 09 2013]
[link]
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Definitely has potential if there is a vegie sausage version
Here's one of my rare croissants to wrap around one of those dogs. [+] |
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What do you use for the ball? |
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//has potential if there is a vegie sausage version// |
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Why do vegetarians have this obsession with
creating insipid simulacra of all things meaty and
tasty? |
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But, obviously, [+] for the idea. |
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In fairness, sausages are a convenient method of stowing meat and other flavourings/fillings into a smallish package to be cooked and eaten all together - there's no reason for veggies to not see this technology and apply it to their own plant-based foodstuffs. |
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On the other hand, 'veggie-bacon' is something I have no time for. |
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// 'veggie-bacon' is something I have no time for.//
Ah, now I have to differ with you on that one,
[TomP]. The important thing is not to slice them
too thin. |
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Come now [21] - whilst I agree with the sentiment, that there analogy is quite the stretch. |
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[+]'s for [Max] for using the term simulacra. |
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I don't actually bother to eat meat-like substances
because I consider it silly. |
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I find it hypocritical to troll the halfbakery but claim not to be trolling -- it's like, well, what someone said,
only more so. |
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I only object to simulacra of meat foods if they're
done badly. |
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//hypocritical to troll the halfbakery but claim not
to be trolling// I never claimed I wasn't trolling. |
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//Why do vegetarians have this obsession with creating insipid simulacra of all things meaty and tasty?// |
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Why the reason is obvious. It’s to wind up those meat-eaters who have an unreasonable fascination about what vegetarians choose to eat. |
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[+] Mustard cups on the side? |
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This could be interesting with real people, controller
by other human players via remote control |
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//tried very hard to make meat difficult to obtain for those who enjoy it//
Setting aside the veracity of these claims for a moment to explore how successful vegetarians have been in reducing the free availability of meat in your area. |
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//eating something plant-based that looks, smells,
and tastes just like meat is perfectly acceptable.//
One word. Jelly babies. |
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Anyway, I am not sure I can fully support the implied segregationalist cantera policy w.r.t. team selection. I think that the snorkerball teams should, like teams in Serie A or the Premiership, be able to field players from outwith their catchment areas, though I do realise that the rigidity of team structure might lead some teams to deploy a saddeningly Martin O'Neillian "buy in four big wursts from Bavaria to hold the back line" policy, the technical prowess of the chipolatan trequartista Bangera left languishing in the unfashionable fringe leagues. |
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Will there be a Christmas version, with bacon-wrapped chipolatas ? Doubleplusgood ... |
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I didn't make the connection to "foosball" until [tc]'s
link. Now it makes more sense, although it makes
me believe there won't be any out-of-bounds space
for my soba noodles to go tailgating while waiting
for a loserwurst. |
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But - won't the winner dogs get eaten as well? What
else would you do with them? - they're probably
half cooked, which would put them at a severe
disadvantage starting a new match against fresh
sausages. |
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For "player" transgressions, the offender may be
doused in (yellow) mustard. For a second offence, or
very serious incident, the "player" may be covered in
ketchup or chutney for a short period before being
devoured by the opposition humans. |
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Hmm, ok, I change this slightly, the winning team get to have new sausages, for the next round. |
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I think a suitable penalty for a player during the match would be their sausage gets replaced by a chipolata. |
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It's a great idea, but I think we all know that the Germans
will inevitably dominate the league... |
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//the Germans will inevitably dominate the
league..// |
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Yes, but the inertia will slow them down against the more agile footwork of the more traditional banger, no exoskeletons allowed. Also the larger the sausage, the more likely to go off-side. |
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Posted link of worlds largest, and (by now) the most off sausage in the world. |
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cooked porcine muscle [+] |
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I think the Spanish are in with chance, Chorizo is
sizeable, and extraordinarily tough. |
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//Personally, I prefer my meat medium-rare so I would
likely have shorter matches.// |
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Even for sausages? I like my meat on the rare side too,
but a sausage with an uncooked middle just seems
kinda gross. |
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As for the idea, it seems horrendously unsanitary and
sort of disrespectful of food, but I'm not going to be
the first to draw blood so [ ]. |
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//horrendously unsanitary and sort of disrespectful of food, |
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Aha, you've never eaten British cheap meat products... |
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