Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Table Toilet

No need for a toilet
  (+2, -15)(+2, -15)(+2, -15)
(+2, -15)
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Imagine the millions of women who would love me if I could give them the luxury of not having to que to piss. Hey get ready for showers of love, Leggs. I give the world The Table Toilet. The table toilet is so discreet you don't even have to get up from your bar stool. Tiny cup devices designed to be discreetly slipped between your panties and allows you to piss away, without having to interrupt those girly chats.

The Table Toilet is attached under the table and connects to the gentle "Dentists Suction" device under the floor. Hey even the guys can use it. After use the cup slips neatly back into the disinfecting drawer ready to be used again.

leggless, Aug 22 2000

Thomas - be a dear and pass the bread will you? Incontinence_20Loaf
[benfrost, Dec 24 2004]

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       Just guessing here, but with an idea like this, you may indeed have to imagine them.
beauxeault, Aug 22 2000
  

       Ther is something disturbing in the image of a bunch of people sitting on bar stools, quietly smiling to themselves.
Scott_D, Aug 23 2000
  

       Wasn't "Toilet Table" the name of one of Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos on Sprockets?
dgeiser13, Apr 11 2001
  

       So you can drink until you're pissed, aye
thumbwax, Apr 11 2001
  

       I once met an Australian who, detesting to miss any of the Cricket match, claimed he would run a tube down his leg in to a plastic bottle resevoir.
Op, Apr 11 2001
  

       A container to collect the piss with that?
andrewm, Jul 24 2002
  

       No offense to anyone, but it's easy to suggest this idea if you're leggless
thumbwax, Jul 24 2002
  

       Hmm, the Aussie bloke didn't by any chance work for Fosters did he... that would explain a lot.
witless, Feb 03 2003
  

       a friend of mine, ollie, pissed into a pint glass in the elephant and wheelbarrow in st kilda, melbourne during an england game in the football world cup. he then, predictably, returned the drink to the bar complaining that it tasted of piss. for future reference, that scam doesn't work.
sambwiches, Feb 03 2003
  

       I think you've just invented an overly complicated adult diaper.
zigness, Mar 14 2004
  

       Conveen make a range of products for this sort of porpoise.
sufc, Mar 14 2004
  

       An old geezer I know says that he and others used a rolled up newspaper/programme so as not to miss a minute of the football match in the 30s
rambling_sid, Dec 23 2004
  

       I've always found something about hot water bottles quite unsettling.Attach one to the table toilet.
skinflaps, Oct 15 2007
  
      
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