h a l f b a k e r yWe have a low common denominator: 2
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I'd like to see a TV documentary on those ancient civilisations whose main legacy to the modern world are vast, complex networks of booby-trapped underground caverns, of the type so often discovered by the likes of Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. There are so many unanswered questions: How did they become
so technologically advanced? What was the significance in their religious belief system of the elaborate booby-trap and of killing people thousands of years after their civilisation itself had died? How long was the apprenticeship to become a master booby-trap maker? Did they progress from making 'fire-once'
booby-traps to making those which could slaughter multiple victims over a period of time? How did they test the booby-traps?
The straight dope
http://www.straight...ag/mboobytraps.html
sorry, no diabolical traps to speak of. [RayfordSteele, Feb 06 2008]
Unexploded Ordnance
http://www.ventbird.../news/journals/417/
An example of places where you're warned of "the unmarked minefields", so that you won't wander off and explore someplace fun. It's an effective deterrent. [Amos Kito, Feb 07 2008]
Mermaids do not exist, say US Government
http://www.bbc.co.u...-us-canada-18692830
[hippo, Jul 04 2012]
[link]
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Bone for lack of mention towards The Goonies movie. Or was it a book first. Anyways, |
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Annie!!! You Goonie!!!!!!! |
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haha... but, seriously, I've been building mine for a few years now and all I can say is that you really forget why you ever started. After a while, it's all you know. |
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edit. an applicaple quote.
"Stef: Data where are you going?
Data: I'm setting booty traps.
Stef: You mean booby traps?
Data: THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys!"
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I'd be really interested to know if there are ANY booby traps anywhere in the World, or if it's just a myth championed by Hollywood fiction. |
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The presenter could be Pitfall Harry. |
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daseva: if you were paying attention during the Goonies, you would have noticed the booby-traps they encountered were left by 18th century pirates, not an ancient civilization.
theleopard: any modern war is replete with boobytraps - WWII, Vietnam, etc. I imagine ancient wars had their equivalent, but they have now all rusted to dust.
hippo: the real question is what happened to all that technology the archaeologists dug up. (I want a StarGate!) |
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Hmm. I read Goonies. The only Goonie who ever trapped a booby was Mikey. |
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//any modern war is replete with boobytraps - WWII, Vietnam, etc. I imagine ancient wars had their equivalent, but they have now all rusted to dust.// |
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You never know - one day a farmer in <insert name of nation that used to hold ancient civilisation here> might be checking up on his sheep and plunge his foot through the remains of an antique sword. I presume tetanus was a problem in antiquity (though only to a minimal extent), not just now. |
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Whilst the cock-trap slowly evolved into the Chinese fingertrap we know today. |
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Gannet trapping played a part in the fall of the Easter Island civilization... |
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//How did they test the booby-traps?//
Ans: With their boobies of course. + |
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A measure of strength lies in not being booby trapped for one's country, but making your enemies be booby trapped for theirs. |
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It certainly wasn't the Isle of Man. |
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Q: How did they become so technologically advanced? |
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A: Just as tne Nasca tribes were able to build gigantic UFO landing strips, so were the Boobytrapaboriginals able to develop super sophisticated traps to protect their treasures they were preserving for all future generations. |
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Q:What was the significance in their religious belief system of the elaborate booby-trap and of killing people thousands of years after their civilization itself had died? |
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A: You see, they believed in the God of time. Other civilizations were silly sun worshipers or moon worshipers…but the time worshipers had the added advantage to never having to get up early to greet their God or do absurd, nude Moon dances (far too much jiggling and flapping involved). Time worship was practiced over many thousands of years…even until the practitioners were long gone as a people. They built elaborate temples and protected them against the ravages of time by special rituals and sophisticated materials…like deer skin fiberglass, and stainless ebony bows and special spider goo glues that kept the tension in the bows that held tomb raiders at bay. Also, don’t forget, the booby trap systems were designed to operate many times as each successive wave of desecrators tramped in and ultimately died by the everlasting poison tipped arrows and the perpetual re-cocking mechanisms that reset the traps for the next and the next and the next inquisitive treasure hunters. They knew that the time god could only be appeased by mass quantities of rotting corpses decorating the temples over the millennia….thus giving the spirits of the long departed time worshipers a long term of abiding in nirvana. Of course, the first tomb raider to successfully dodge the flying darts and the gigantic rolling stones and to steal the time God’ image, would instantly cause the Time God to throw them all into an endless time tunnels of despair. |
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Q: How long was the apprenticeship to become a master booby-trap maker? |
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A: About six months if the kid was good with his hands. Longer if he was a complete putz. |
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Q: Did they progress from making 'fire-once' booby-traps to making those which could slaughter multiple victims over a period of time? |
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A: Obviously! Have you not watched any adventure movies at all? How about a few Flash Gordon serials? |
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Q: How did they test the booby-traps? |
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A: They had several booby trap testing laboratories scattered throughout the ancient world…some of these exist to this day…notice the pitfalls in the U.S. Democrat party politics. Also, have you ever tried to travel by airliner in the USA in winter or on holidays? Absolute proof the testing of booby traps and time worship goes on to this very day. |
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My expert knowledge on Boobytrapaboriginal theology and celebratory practices come from my studies and experience on angling…fishing is quite similar to setting up booby traps and worshiping the Time God. |
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Is the god of Time generally lazy or punctual? Both? Why is it "god of Time", shouldn't it be "God of Time"? Because, the other way makes time out to be a bigger deal than the god of it and, if that's the case, I rather don't care much for the god, I wanna know more about this Time business. |
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Why 'booby'? Why isn't there some clever spinoff with titty traps circulating somewhere out there? I'm thinking this peculiar reservation for the concept clearly alludes to an underlying awareness we all have for booby traps. Namely, that we all set analogues of these contraptions in our daily lives... in some way shape or form and we would feel pretty ridiculous if we actually knew how much it was happening... |
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like the airport idea, gawd yall! |
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Now if we could just find some way to catch Dolly Parton ... |
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The Egyptians almost had the perpetual cocking thing trounced: The pyramids were quite surely advanced platforms for treasure storage into which a series of unwitting mummies could be placed and through which a system of channels and spaces concentrate and focus the 'airs of putrefaction' let out by corpses. Ingenious, gas-operated rakes and trowels keep primed a connection to the great cocker for many traps by which all the unwashed must fall. |
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Respect for the vast time involved in a wait for desecration is, of course why mummification was used extensively, in that even though fresh kills could and did supply ample gas for ordinary busy times that grave robbers could be expected (like during the 'official mourning period' of a recently deceased king) one could never foresee how long a corpse may have to lie in state yet continue to decay with sufficient anoikis to keep the pressure up. Look at how many mummies were being prepared! Those tilers were in it for the long haul. |
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Yes, Dr. Reensure, I quite agree....mmmm-mmm |
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I must say, you seem to be, as usual, quintessentially astute. |
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/I'd be really interested to know if there are ANY booby traps anywhere in the World/ |
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I was wondering exactly this as I read. |
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Many people have wondered the same thing. Only
those who failed to find them have reported back.
(Remind me to tell you, some time, of our
grandfather's inadvertent booby-trapping of the
north-east terrapin pond and funicular fountain.) |
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//Q: How long was the apprenticeship to become a master
booby-trap maker?// |
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If the kid was good with his hands - the rest of his life. If
he was a complete putz - the rest of his life. |
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I'm slightly concerned now that if a spoof documentary was produced on these ancient civilisations then the US Government would have to rush out a press release denying their existence (as they have recently had to do, to deny that mermaids exist - see link). Then people would say "Aha! They must have something to hide!" and a belief would grow that the adventures of Indiana Jones and Lara Croft really happened, and are as real as that alien autopsy and ancient hunter-gatherer man killing off the dinosaurs. |
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Radiers of the lost Ark may have lost some of its dramtic 'punch' if all Dr Jones encountered was a bucket of dust balanced above a half opened door. |
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Just noticed the net number of positive votes for a
two-and-a-half croissant idea has plummeted from
22 to a measly 21. Does this mean idea quality at the
bakery is going up, or down? |
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I would say the halfbakery is neither up nor down. |
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I think it means that our standards are non-standard. |
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No, it's just that they change over time. |
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Ah yes - uniformly variable. |
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Radiers of the lost Ark may have lost even more of its dramtic 'punch' if all Dr Jones encountered was a dreary series of sterile occupation levels, a couple of broken fragments of a water jug, three burnt stones and a team of bureaucrats presenting him with permits and national heritage office inspection reports to fill in and file. Also, the last 80% of the movie should be set back home in his office as he tried to sift through the data to produce enough of a report to be published in some obscure regional scholarly journal. |
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"Indiana Jones: The expenses claim and grant
application" |
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"Indiana Jones And The Accounts Department Of Doom" ... |
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The undergrads with the words on their eyelids make it all worthwhile. |
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Indiana Jones and the Vast Accruals Aid. |
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