h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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The next season of the Survivor series should be set in a trailer park, preferably located in the deep south. Why send the contestants off to faraway exotic locales while the most challenging are right here at home???
Rather than being left with only rations of rice, they would be given cases of Wild
Turkey and a weather radio to warn of impending tornadoes.
The Deliverance Channel
http://www.halfbake...0Channel#1003234131
lararox' idea would be better posted as an annotation to this one. [DrBob, Nov 27 2001]
Warren officials let Eminem movie roll
http://www.zwire.co...ept_id=141265&rfi=8
Some residents near Warner Avenue, north of Eight Mile Road, have complained they are forced to go almost a mile out of their way during production inside the nearby Continental Trailer Park. [LoriZ, Nov 29 2001]
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Annotation:
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Wouldn't New York City be more appropriate? |
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Wild Turkey would be considered champagne to Trailer Park residents. Better to make them rough it out with lesser brands. |
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Skill Contests (to weed out male and female contestants): |
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1. Hatchet-throwing at neighbor's tree (must stick at least once, three tries). |
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2. "Shoot" a 16-ounce malt liquor in a can: punch hole on edge of can bottom, suck out air, invert and pull tab. Must swallow entire, no spewing out through nose. |
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3. Toss the empty can into the air in the general direction of neighbor's yard, plug can with gun of choice. Three tries. |
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4. Create a beer can hat using tin snips and yarn. Don the hat, and for 10 minutes maximum, tell a lie about some past exploit involving drinking, fishing, or street drag racing. Judges choice. |
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5. Throw your neighbor's picnic table into the bonfire (you should have had a bonfire going by now. Burning plastic or rubber gets bonus points), with no help, in under 3 minutes. |
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6. Put your 15-year-old pick-up truck up on blocks in the yard in 15 minutes or less. At least one wheel removed. All wheels removed gets bonus points. |
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7. Stand closest to neighbor's chained Pit Bull without losing a limb of your choice. |
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8. Get in your pick-up, start engine and repeatedly rev engine. Loud muffler or no muffler recommended. Shortest time to any neighbor's shouted expletive wins. |
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9. Give the most convincing, dead-pan description of a UFO abduction, involving at least one bodily function. Judge's choice. |
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10. After shouting, "Hey guys, watch this!", perform ten-minute free-style, using any three of the following: firecrackers, empty bottles, length of chain, gasoline, num-chucks, power tool, bowling ball, piece of plywood, spray paint, gun/ammo, car part. Judges choice. |
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Style Pointer: Know when to shout, "WOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOO!!". |
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Well, I now know who White Trash Van Mechanic moved by. |
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Fabulous annotation entremanure!!! We need to approach the CBS producers with the idea!!! |
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Is mp3man starring? (er, mp9man as thumbwax rightfully points out below) |
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Survivor: Weston-Super-Mare. Contestants have to live on only Tesco Value fish fingers, tinned mushy peas and Fray Bentos 'meat' pies. Try and find_something_ for them to do. |
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mp9man, BTW... I wonder if that correction constitutes a threat. |
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I'm gonna read this later … croissant for the title. |
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WOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOO!! YOU WIN AGAIN, Unabubba! mpotentman never did email me back after I replied to his email. |
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Oh, of course [UB], now I remember. I just didn't make the connection. Did his account get turned off or did he just go away on his (or her) own? |
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I propose a companion Skill Contest to #4, for female contestants only: |
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Wearing rollers under a headscarf, deliver venomous rant to male companion on your choice of subject. You must rant for five minutes, taking only one breath per minute, and using a minimum of twenty irregular verb forms in the course of the rant. |
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Example: "What you dudn't know is, you'd a get your guns tooken away from you if it ain't for the likes a me gone hidin' em when you's all drinked up off your ass ..." |
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Great, 1percent! I like it! Should be inserted in place of one of the ten I provided above! |
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I can hear your example as if I had been there. I might respond to her, "Wuh hell, ever' tam Ah no more'n looks at y'funny, you go off an' ak lak I'm sum kanna haint ur sum kanna, uh uh Ah doan know--you gonna' haul off an' git my guns, huh? Wull that ain't even yer idee 'cuzzat done already has been did!". |
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Great idea, lararox! Ah have livved mah ho laff jist t' flesh out yer idee! |
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/Wull that ain't even yer idee 'cuzzat done already has been did!"/ |
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Dang, boy! Damn fine purty words you done slang around here! Ellie Mae gots a half a mind, she gonna put on 'em Daisy Dukes and hang around your dirt patch for a spell, makin' eyes at you over the Jello mold she done made special. |
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Ahhh, sweet love in the double-wide ... |
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Are you seriously expecting sensitive TV producers to go into a trailer park? Surely not! |
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Dunno, pottedstu, but I can tell ya this... I just watched a National Geographic special tonight on MSNBC where the reported went into Afghanistan and got half his ass blown off by the Taliban. I'm thinkin the TV producers would MUCH rather go into the trailer park! |
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You guys are forgetting about Nascar. There would have to be a challenge to watch the most uninterrupted hours of Nascar documentary. |
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