Surprise! clothing dye

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get tired of wearing the same old clothes day in and day out. I mean, I change my clothes every day, so...oh, forget it.

It might be nice to be able to dye my clothes with impunity, but first you have to go to the store, spend 20 minutes looking for just the right shade of fuschia, and then you have to buy the bleach, and by the time it's all over and done with, it's sort of anticlimactic.

So I propose instead a clothing dye product of an indeterminate color. Simply buy one box of Surprise! Clothing Dye, take it home, and choose what you want to recolor. Simply run the washer once with the included bleach, then drop in the included dye ball. The balls would all be plain black plastic, along the lines of the new Tide detergent balls. Run the washer again, and viola! Orange! On my dress shirts!

In the event of boredom, you could also buy the Surprise! Color Upgrade Kit, which contains a specially-designed decolorizer which actively targets the dye molecules in Surprise! Dye. Wash with the decolorizer, and dye again....hurray! Puce!

(normal colors like purple, black, and rose would be options as well, though you wouldn't know it).