h a l f b a k e r yI think this would be a great thing to not do.
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A loaf of super-long bread has the cross section of a normal loaf but is 5, 10, or even 15 meters long. Baked fresh every morning, the super loaves are delivered by logging truck to delis and supermarkets. Customers can then order as much or as little bread as they want, and specify how thickly they
would like it sliced. The deli guy then uses a band saw with auto-feed mechanism to make the necessary cuts.
(This idea will allow people on low-carb diets to purchase small quantities of bread cut paper-thin. It will also allow people on high-carb diets to enjoy door-stop-thick slices. It will also reduce the number of end-slices, a possible draw-back for some people.)
baguette machine
http://www.halfbake.../baguette_20machine
Another bread-by-length proposal. [waugsqueke, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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I see ultra-long bread, coiled up into a cone shape and worn on the head (like a wizards hat) back from the bakery... |
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So, who's "The Foot" and why is he selling bread? |
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In taco places (the real ones, not the chains) they usually have a special oven where the tortillas moving on a spiral as the bake. Dough is fed in at the top and baked tortillas drop out at the bottom. Such a spiral oven could be used to bake bread in the store on demand. [DN] could even get something to wear on the head. |
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// [DN] could even get something to wear on the head. // |
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No! That might stop the heat escaping, and bring about rational thought processes. |
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In Japan, it is customary for the bakery to throw away the loaf ends (heels? ears? whatever), so longer loaves cut down on waste. I've seen them make loaves 3 meters long; the big-city bakeries might do longer. |
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Were I live we can already buy bread by the slice but that could be something to do with the fact that few individuals have the physical strength to carry more than a day's supply of the stuff they bake over here. We can also get it thick or thin sliced. It's not long though, it's round. And what if you like the end bits? They make great toast. |
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Ooo DeathNinja, imagine if they incorporate this in Harry Potter--or Gandalf |
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I'd just like [Rods] to know that his anno kept me giggling through an otherwise unremarkable day. Mind you, why you'd use Cheese taps with him, I've no idea. |
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I think drain rods would be more appropriate to clear blockages |
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I'm imagining [AO]'s grocery store to be more like a lumber yard, with stacks of 12' food products sold by the foot. |
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That reminds me of the other idea I’m working on: The Spaghettus, a single-serving single strand of spaghetti. It is 240 feet long (about 73 m). Too long to be transported by logging truck, so I think a supertanker would be more appropriate. (A 747 would also work if you’re not very hungry.) |
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I would think this would best be transported in roll form. Make the diameter a bit less than a typical large pasta pot, and then the whole thing can be dropped in at once. It would make for a very long and awkward scene in "Lady and the Tramp." |
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But imagine the satisfaction and relief when they *finally* kiss... |
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World, I suppose a rolled up spaghettus would be more convenient. Then you could have a special spaghettus cooking pot with two sections: an outer annular section in which the spaghettus is boiled, and an inner section filled with sauce. Perfect for people with only one gas ring, but you have to be careful not to tip out the sauce when you drain the water. |
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DN, there’s nothing like kissing someone after consuming half a serving of pasta in one gulp. |
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Or 120 feet of pasta, as the case may be. |
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Mobius bread would prove problematic since you would inevitably end up with butter on both sides. |
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[Death]'s first anno made me think of an actual wizard's hat made from bread, only the paper-thin kind. But since it wouldn't stand up on its own, it would have to be made of taco. Yes. The taco hat! Dibs on the taco fedora! |
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And if that can't be baked, I'll eat my hat. |
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// Dibs on the taco fedora // |
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It's all yours. I just want my french bread wizard hat. |
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This bread could be sliced perpendicularly the other way and sold in rolls. Refrigerators would be built with a rack for roll bread along with roll salami and roll cheese. It would be quick work to make a very long sandwich for the family.
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A google search shows that the halfbackery is the sole authority on these matters. Check the mathematics of “crust/slice ratio” in continuous bread provided by [Onionbread]. |
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[AO] Mobius bead huh? If both sides are buttered, which side would it land on? |
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moebius bead necklace - like the sound of that. |
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um...bread, I meant. I'm all thumbs today. |
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yeah, but I *really* liked the sound of it. |
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One danger of the ginormous loaf is that if it was made as garlic bread I would not be able to stop eating and would reach critical mass and implode. Especially if it was cheesy garlic bread. |
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“What you got there,” I said to Charlene.
“Baguette.”
“No, in the box.”
She laughed. “It’s the new baguette-dispenser.”
“Nah.”
“Oh yeah, a hundred feet of flattened out, freeze dried, tasty bread. Just add water.”
What was she, a walking advertisement? I humored her. “How does it work?"
So she showed me. She pulled out a one-foot length of paper-thin compressed bread—it looked like tape. She tore it off on the serrated lip of the box, placed it on a plate, poured a glass of water on it, and then stuck it in the microwave on high for fifteen minutes. So we chatted about nothing for a while, and then ping!
“Gosh, I said, already done?”
“It’s really convenient” Charlene said, placing the steaming mass of bread in front of me. It looked boiled. “Try it.”
So I tried it. It was sort of chewy. “It’s good,” I said.
“It really is, isn’t it,” she said, “and if you don’t add the water, you can use it for duct-tape.”
“And this is an import?”
“Yep, UK.”
Ah, the UK. A bad case of brain drain, I imagined.
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“What you got there,” I said to Charlene.
“Baguette.”
“No, in the box.”
She laughed. “It’s the new baguette-dispenser.”
“Nah.”
“Oh yeah, a hundred feet of flattened out, freeze dried, tasty bread. Just add water.”
What was she, a walking advertisement? I humored her. “How does it work?"
So she showed me. She pulled out a one-foot length of paper-thin compressed bread—it looked like tape. She tore it off on the serrated lip of the box, placed it on a plate, poured a glass of water on it, and then stuck it in the microwave on high for fifteen minutes. So we chatted about nothing for a while, and then ping!
“Gosh, I said, already done?”
“It’s really convenient” Charlene said, placing the steaming mass of bread in front of me. It looked boiled. “Try it.”
So I tried it. It was sort of chewy. “It’s good,” I said.
“It really is, isn’t it,” she said, “and if you don’t add the water, you can use it for duct-tape.”
“And this is an import?”
“Yep, UK.”
Ah, the UK. A bad case of brain drain, I imagined. |
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This idea scares me. What if the bread was rolled into a Mobius strip, and buttered on the lone side? if the resulting MoBread was dropped, the bread would try to twist through the fourth dimension to let all of it hit first. if that occured it would rip a hole in the fabric of spacetime, killing us all in the resulting twisting of every object on earth into Klien bottles! |
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// In Japan, it is customary for the bakery to throw away the loaf ends // |
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That seems awfully wasteful, why not sell them? |
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