h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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If you know how long it takes to incinerate a dead person and
have seen how much bone material etc. is left after the
cremation and how much energy that goes into the process,
then you realize that there have to be a better way, and that
is the sun crematorium. It is made up by a big parabolic
mirror
to catch the sun, a pyrex glass cage with a slate by the most
meltproof materials, such as tental carbide that melts at
temperatures of + 4000 degrees C (approx. 7200 degrees F)
and a solarcell panel that produces electricity to split oxygen
and hydrogen in water to fuel the hearses with hydrogen. The
oxygen is feeded to the glasscage and the concentrated
sunlight reflected from the parabolic mirror will incinerate
the dead body at a temperature that far exeeds what can be
reached in a furnace or even in an acetylen cutting torch.
The added oxygen insures a very clean and complete burn.
Materials that otherwise are incombustable will burn very well
in an atmosphere of pure oxygen. No need to remove artificial
hips, pacemakers etc. It is undigified and unnecessesary and it
will burn up anyway. There will be very little ash left and due
to the very complete and clean burn, such a crematorium
could easily be fitted into a residential area without any
discomfort to the neighbours. The cremation process itself
would go very fast, provided there is a clear sky, estimated 15-
30 mins. That way the departed can be present at an open
casket funeral in the church and afterwards funeral party can
wait at the crematorium after the service and then follow the
dearly departed to the graveyard.
Solar Solace
http://news.bbc.co....1828000/1828385.stm Wondering if a solar solution would have avoided this scandal, purportedly caused because the operator's equipment was broken and he didn't want to pay the gas bill. [jurist, May 27 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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there is a section called business: cemetery you know. thats the one! |
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To make a long story short:
Build a space ship and fly the bodies onto the Sun. |
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I like the part where [BellyUp] sez "such a crematorium could easily be fitted into a residential area". Like the mirrors would blend in with the scenery. Actually, I guess they would. Heh. |
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Bixbyte: if you're going to do that, you might as well put the body under the rocket rather than in it. It'd be cheaper. |
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Or shove 'em under the launch pad, for that matter.. |
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please show a little respect for the decreased. |
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Sorry, my bad. My PR department has issued this rephrasal: |
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"It is [yamahito]'s considered opinion that, rather than adding to expensive spacelaunch costs, a more efficient method would be to install a dignified recepticle situated underneath the majestic curves of NASAs thrusters. This way our dearly missed ancestors can leave their bodies and their life with a definite connection to the next stage of human exploration; for what else is exploration but an expression of vitality? The extension of life into lifeless space is a beautiful, living metaphor of our hope that the recently deceased are our proud explorers into the next world" |
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What I'm not getting, is whether the Sun Crematorium is designed to be a piece of rolling stock. Do you mean that the service is offered in any neighborhood, is delivered on a converted semi-trailer, and is parked and unfolded just outside where a body is viewed? |
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Wow...and here I thought that the Sun Crematorium was in fact the Sun Creamatoriam where one can choose from a wide variety of sun creams. |
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My original premise is better.
Charge a couple million $ per Cremation.
You can't take it with You.
Launch the Deceased in a rocket and land the body on the Sun.
Important people would pay in advance.
And, hire athletes to advertise. |
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Part Baked (or should that be part-burned?). I read in the Fortean Times a few months back (can't remember the precise issue) of teh Parsis ( a sect of zoarostrianism in india) who leave their dead in a compound full of turkey vultures to be consumed. To make them more palatable to the vultures, the bodies are first "cooked" with the suns rays, reflected from large concave mirrors. |
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Ahh, beaten by UB. I'm sure it's because Australia is 48 hours ahead of the UK! |
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only 48 hours? I thought it was at least a week. |
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Sorry I'm not with it. Give me time to think of something coherant to write. |
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