h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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One of the few things I remember from college was a picture in my psychology book of an experiment where a dog's esophagus was fitted with a valve such that when he drank, the water could be either sent to his stomach or diverted to the floor. I think that water could also be pumped directly into his
stomach. The goal was to determine whether it was dryness of the mouth or lack of water in the stomach that caused thirst.
I propose we install a similar valve in people. After eating your fill, you could switch the valve to divert the food to a discreetly hidden bag for later disposal. Perhaps an industry would develop around stylish, design-name overflow bags. And some restaurants would have hook-ups under the tabletop for the tube, eliminating the need for the bag and its subsequent emptying.
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Annotation:
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Similar, but above the stomach to avoid processing delays, weight gain, and overloading the body's systems for removing toxins. |
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Other applications of the oesophagus diversion device:
1) Allow the designated driver to drink beer.
2) Allow those who cannot process dairly products to eat nice creamy desserts.
3) Allow those on a diet to eat normally, turning the valve when they have consumed the requisite number of calories. |
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Despite all this (especially number 1) I can't croissant this idea - it's too gross. I'd give you a fishbone only you'd probably have your valve switched. |
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I like this idea and award you a croissant, doughnut, Mars bar and chocolate hobnob. Chocoholics who are prone to put on weight can chew, swallow and just simply divert it out from the digestive system. |
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This idea is kinda sorta baked. There is a procedure called a "Divided Gastric Bypass" for compulsive overeaters (or rich anorexics) which involves stapling part or the stomach closed, so it effectively has less volume. The patient looses weight because they feel full after eating small amounts of food. If the patient eats too much, they vomit. (Sounds a little like "A Clockwork Orange") |
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There is another procedure called "Vertical Banded Gastroplasty" in which a bit of plastic is stapled to the stomach lining, cutting off a section of stomach. |
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These procedures only work if the patient avoids high calorie liquids, like soda pop and ice cream. |
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I think that these are a great idea. This way you can eat with you like and not have to worry about gaining the weight. Also is a great marketing tool!! |
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Do we feel the satisfaction of eating if the food doesn't hit our gut? I'm not sure. |
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