Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sticky Chopsticks

 Chopsticks for the rest of us...
 
(+3, -3) 		  [vote for,
against]

Have you ever been to a Chinese resturant and been the only person not able to competently use chopsticks for anything other then playing "pickup sticks"? I suggest that "special chpsticks" be coated with a sticky substance (possibly like flypaper) that would allow the user to easily manuever the most difficult Kung Pao dishes. The "fly-paper" poison would need to be removed of course (unless you had an evil co-worker you were trying to off). I'm not talking tar sticky - maybe postit-like in that it could be used over and over without losing too much stick.
—jefmjones, Sep 01 2001

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       Only chopsticks that I have a problem with are lacquered. Function follows form apparently. Wood chopsticks have never been a problem in my case. Combine the attributes of the two without loss of quality in a gastronomically fulfilling or aesthetically pleasing manner and you have a kung pao croissant.
—thumbwax, Sep 01 2001
   

       Sticky sticks wouldn't work, the sauce on the food would coat it and render it useless. Something like knurling would work better, give you some traction.
—StarChaser, Sep 01 2001
   

       You could use sticky sauch on the food instead. Then you could get by with just one chopstick.   

       ("I eat my peas with honey / I've done it all my life / It makes them taste quite funny / But it keeps them on the knife.")
—wiml, Sep 03 2001
   

       What about covering them with the hooky half of Velcro?
—Gordon Comstock, Sep 03 2001
   

       Two possibilities:
1. Practice, practice, practice.
2. Don't wash them.
—sirrobin, Sep 03 2001
   

       yes, OR you could just abandon a utensil that is now several thousand years out of date and adopt that great Renaissance invention - the fork.
—gravelpit, Sep 03 2001
   

       Is speed a good thing in eating?
—bristolz, Jan 02 2002
   

       It appears everyone is assuming the sticky end is at the food end. I was under the impression the sticky end was the hand end - to keep the chopsticks from sliding around.   

       I have to reserve my croissant until this matter is clarified.
—phoenix, Jan 02 2002
   
      
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