h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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I obtain a set of magnets, some coils of copper wire and a rechargeable battery.
Late at night, I sneak up to Bruce Sterling's house, put the magnets on the propshaft of his car, glue coils nearby and connect up the rechargeable battery.
Come back the next night and swap out the battery, go charge
up my mobile phone.
What idea were you expecting here?
[link]
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I thought it would be some clever way of extracting energy
from a quid. |
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I was expecting a sterling idea and i got one. |
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I expected an engine which ran on little birds. |
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//an engine which ran on little birds// |
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Oh, that's almost painful... |
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Strangely, when I was under the car, I found seven of these already attached, one of them seems to have the Borg Industries glyph...I will say no more... |
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I was expecting an engine made out of silver alloy. |
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It sure would be a hard fail if you got all prepped for this and upon arrival realize that his car is FWD. |
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He'll end up buying something RWD or 4WD sometime..I can wait... |
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// Borg Industries glyph // |
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We wish to state for the record that not ALL BorgCo products
require an End User Certificate to purchase. (Of course, if you're
paying in unmarked bills, nothing bigger than a 50, then we're a
little more flexible). |
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But many products can be bought, quite legally, by members of
the general public. Very stupid members of the general public,
with either a deathwish or an ambition to feature in the Darwin
Awards, but members of the public none the less. Their money is
the same colour as anyone else's, usually …although sometimes
there's a hint of high-velocity spatter when we pry it from their
cold, dead fingers … |
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If you're on some sort of consumer-champion public safety class
action crusade, go look at MaxCo's product line. Bunch of
cowboys, they are. |
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<8th of 7 goes off to consult his IP lawyer on this shameless knock-off, little knowing that the Borg were disqualified from the Galactic Patent Association as all of their previous 2,653,986 patents applications were just pieces of paper with "Assimilate" written all over them> |
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Actually, the jury's still out on that one … |
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//the jury's still out on that one// |
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Either
A) You got OJ Simpson's lawyer working on that one.
or
B) They are being assimilated. |
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As a Plan B, which was going to be some way to get a refund on the unvoiced letters in the text messages I send....Oh, sorry that was another plan. |
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But, I digress. I remember now, the idea is to corner the green energy market by gross misrepresentation of the source of the energy, which is derived from magnets and coils affixed to the underside of the non-front wheel drive cars in Stirling, Scotland, who then wake up one day to find none of the vehicles will do more than 5mph, full-throttle, in first gear, going down a hill, for some strange reason... |
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