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Mythbusters confirmed a steam powered machine gun did exist and
they even built one from the original spec sheet. The problem was that
it didn't pack enough punch to send a ball bearing flying at lethal
velocity.
I submit that a ball bearing is a wholly inadequate ammunition for
such an
awesome
weapon, when catlings are so readily available at a
fraction of the cost.
I submit that a modified version of the steam machine gun could be
produced with a larger bore diameter and catling discarding sabot
rounds to provide much more wounding power, as well as a terrific
psychological weapon against any stubborn Borg a concerned
Landlord may have to evict.
The engineers at 21st Century Quest Engineering have built ours with
brass tubing and polished mahogany woodgrips, and only the most
fleabitten, mangy moggies will do for our discerning clientele. Order
yours within the next 15 minutes and you'll receive a complimentary
self-loading kit with a sabot recovery mechanism.
See definition #3
http://www.thefreed...t.aspx?word=catling
[21 Quest, Aug 24 2012]
the obvious countermeasure
http://www.halfbake...0ballistic_20armour
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2012]
Smile and wave boys...
http://sciengineer....poo-projection.html
...smile and wave. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 26 2012]
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<massive existential conflict>
.
.
<sound of arcing and flashover>
.
.
<BZZZT>
.
.
<awards bun>
.
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<click, sputter>
.
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<wisp of smoke>
.
<THUD>
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How do the lyrics go again?
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Bored now.
[marked-for-deletion] cruelty. |
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If you used a mixture of hardened egg-whites and
sugar to form the sabots, you might also be able to
squeeze in some form of cat-a-meringue pun in
there as well. |
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<fizzle>
.
.
"Daisy, daaiissyy … gggiivvee … mmmmeeee
… yyyooouuurrrr … "
.
. |
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If you shoot at targets made from large lettering, your hits could form punctuation marks, including cat-astrophes. |
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Don't think of this as a form of cruelty to kittens.
Think of it as steam-assisted adoption. |
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Lessee, Mythbusters reference...check!
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Steampunk technology...check!
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Creative use of felines #1002...check!
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Obligatory Borg burn...check!
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License for puns (bad or otherwise)...check!
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OK, it looks like this idea has met all the requirements so there's just one more thing:
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<If you needed a wooden pole to clear any misfired rounds from the barrel would you call it a cat-a-log?> |
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.
.
<fzshp>
.
.
<twitch>
.
. |
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Can somebody reboot the Borg? It's putting static on
my radio. |
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What? couldn't hear you over the noise...hang on that's Cherenkov radiation...
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Strangely I was inspired by this idea to come up with Chihuahua ballistic armour, see link if you really, really must. |
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and..steam and cats...could you also use this with civet cats and make a fine cappuchino at the same time? |
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Morrison, are you referring to Kopi Luak? Probably.
This'll probably induce defecation quite readily. |
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Idle musing leads me to wonder - if you applied
compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it
produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to
be military significance? |
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Being the firm believer in the process of elimination
(pun fully intended) that I am, Maxwell, I shall
immediately order my dedicated team of engineers
over at 21.C.Q.E. to put your query to the test. |
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//if you applied compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to be military significance?
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My god, so that's how they really make espresso, and the big, gurgly machine is just a blind... |
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I posted an idea once for a contraption that does
just that... injects helium into a cat's mouth at
sufficient pressure to inflate the kitty, and inserted
a cork into the posterior end. Don't know whatever
became of it, I've emailed Jutta to inquire if it was
ever deleted. |
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The idea I posted was, appropriately, titled Cat Injection Pack.
Jutta deleted it. |
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//if you applied compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to be military significance?//
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Doubtful.
Penguins on the other hand...
[link]
...what with their little James Bond tuxedo's and all, it's a given. |
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