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A large black truck glides up a dark suburban street at 2am, barely a whisper emanating from its foam wrapped tyres, it's perfectly balanced V12 diesel only just audible inside the acoustically treated engine bay. It pulls over and the cab door opens with a muted click before a dark robed, hooded figure
leaps from the cab and lands noiselessly on the pavement. The figure tiptoes up a driveway to an overfull wheelie bin, lid propped open on swollen bin bags. He hoists it onto his back, squeaky wheels well clear of the ground, and pads silently back to the truck placing it on the load bar at the back.
At the press of a red button the load bar rises without a sound and tips the bin, not fully upside down but just slightly inverted. Then it stops and gently shakes the bin from side to side, easing the rubbish bags out and sliding them quietly down the chute into the compactor. The compactor itself is one of two, mounted side by side inside the truck. As this one is being slowly and quietly filled with rubbish, the other is compacting it's load, just as slowly and just as quietly.
The truck pulls out again, an owl hoots, the rest of the world is still peacefully asleep.
War drobe.
http://www.threadle...0/Rubbish_Bin_Ninja
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 14 2006]
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Annotation:
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They look so graceful when they do backflips to get past the laser alarm system in my driveway. |
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I'm sure it would be impossible to tip the entire contents of a garbage bin down a chute into a compactor without making a fair amount of noise, no matter how noise-less the technology. |
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Down a dark alley, behind a black door, the "Doctor" prepares his room. It's 4:30 am and the ninja rubbish collector's shift is almost over. It won't be long before a steady stream of dark robed, hooded figures hobble to his door looking for that rarest of treatments: Silent chiropractics. |
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//I'm thinking hover wheelie bins that migrate to their binning ground once a week.// Flocking wheelie bins, you say? |
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How many people are actually awoken
by the garbage men to begin with? it
cant have been that great of sleep to
begin with if you get woken up by them. |
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You obviously haven't heard my bin men. |
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//I'm sure it would be impossible to tip the entire contents of a garbage bin down a chute into a compactor without making a fair amount of noise// Maybe a silent air blast buoys up the rubbish, and then gently lets it down, or the tipping takes place underwater. [+] |
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Ssshhh! I'm listening out for dustmen and ninja rag and bonemen. |
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I live next to a home for the elderly, it is always quiet. Except for seven in the morning the bin man comes riding with a little train of bins behind him. Even on saturday. That makes a great noise. So + |
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I would never have my trash taken out if not for being awoken by the noise of the approaching garbage truck. |
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Ggghhhr clunk squueek. Gggghhhr clunk squeek. (Zimmy half dreaming ...what's that noise? I recognize that. hmm. Oh crap! The garbage truck! where'r my pants?) |
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The heck with your pants, [Zimmy]! Get that garbage out now! You're running out of time, man! |
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[Ian Tindale]- nice, made me snort. |
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I think that if you are going to go through all the trouble of getting ninjas to do away with your disposables, then the least you could do is wrap each piece of garbage in bubblewrap. Let's meet them halfway, people. |
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What about the ninja dumpster-divers? Would they senese these new guys coming, or end up in the compactor? |
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