h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Three points have come to my attention:
1) Dust is a nuisance in the
home
2) It is possible to buy a range
of dusters and dust-cloths which attract
and hold dust by means of static
electricity
3) These dusters are
typically soft and fluffy
4) Cats are
soft and fluffy.
So.
There is
presumably some slightly safe chemical
with which they impregnate dusters to
make them attract dust. An active
domestic cat, sprayed with such a
substance, would presumably collect an
impressive amount of dust after a day
spent lounging around on top of your TV,
on the sunny spot on the parquet, or
clambering over the bookshelves. Every
few days, when the cat has become
approximately spherical, a gentle
brushing
(over a dustbin) should remove the
accumulated debris and allow your furry
friend to start all over again.
A
similar product (sold in smaller aerosol
cans, but at the same price) could enable
your hamster to leave your shelf of little
glass ornaments sparkly clean.
[Edit] The former misguided
inclusion of the word 'pussy' in the title
has been reversed in the face of
overwhelming and, frankly, wilfull
misconstruement. You should all be
ashamed of your elves.
Pussy
http://www.urbandic....php?term=Pussy&r=d
[Ling, Jul 05 2005]
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Annotation:
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Hmmm... these dusters are usually disposable. I think you need to incorporate this attribute into your proposal, then you're onto a winner. (bun) |
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The dust part would be disposable, the
cat part would be recyclable. |
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Work some "pussy" into the title and I'll be happy. |
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Basepair: cats may be made of fluff, but feather dusters are made of, well, feathers. Start with a duck, instead of a cat, and I think you'll be on the right course. No special chemicals required. |
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I have actually been working on the
DusterDuck for some time. I have a
virtually dust-free pond. |
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Unlike my failed CleaningChimp(tm) program, in which a monkey would be covered from head-to-toe in suds, then be allowed to run around the house doing whatever it pleased, this might work. |
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Why would anyone want to dust their pussy? |
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What if you just want a cat to be happy? Can you not buy the chemical, or will it come as standard. Bun for the image of a cat roling in through the door and someone saying "It's time to dust off the cat again" in a weary voice. |
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//Why would anyone want to dust their pussy?// |
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1. Women for years have dusted their pussies with flea powder. |
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2. The pussy can't do it alone? |
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cats are responsible for 99% of the dust at po's place. |
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Most of the time, one might not want to
pick up a dusty pussy or have to clean it
off before playing with it. If this is the
desired effect you are willing to live
with or don't pick up your cat much,
then sure. + |
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//some slightly safe chemical// |
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Hah, I've got to get me some of that. |
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Victim: What did you just spray me with?
Me: Don't worry, it's slightly safe. |
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// 1. Women for years have dusted their pussies with flea powder.//
That's it! That's just too much. Right now, I'm officially off women. |
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//my failed CleaningChimp(tm) program, in which a monkey would be covered from head-to-toe in suds, then be allowed to run around the house doing wahatever it pleased// Welcome [Kozi4361], this is indeed the site for you. (Look out for the spelling nazis though). |
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I just knew it was a mistake to let
MDenholm talk me into putting 'pussy'
in the title. Now nobody is going to
take this seriously. |
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ldischler: you prefer flea-bitten women? Or you're gay? |
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//(Look out for the spelling nazis though).// What spelling mistakes are you implying? (shiftily eyeing the edit button whilst slinking away).
//ldischler: you prefer flea-bitten women?//
I think that's to say nothing of Crabs. |
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//Right now, I'm officially off women.// |
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//You should all be ashamed of your elves.// Yes, yes we will be, [Basepair]. |
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I, for one, never took part in any dusty pussy banter. |
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I used to use my pussy to sweep the floor, and then I'd go slap it a few times on the front porch to get the dust off. You should have seen the look on my neighbor's face, me slapping my pussy, the damn thing dusty as hell. |
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Oh, yeah, and I've never owned a cat, soo.... |
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The trouble is, Denholm, that *I* know
you were thinking of cats, and *you*
know you were thinking of cats, but the
low-lifes that hang out here.... |
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You didn't think it was the lowlives here, you thought it was our elves! |
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And where do you think the elves learn
these bad habits? |
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Elf school? Or if you don't think of elves in the dnd type sense... Santa Claus. |
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kitty litter, kitty litter... |
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