h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Some computer users find the trackballs and trackpads built into notebook pcs difficult to use.
So they carry a "proper" mouse in their laptop case.
Trouble is, mice can be pretty choosy about the surface they run on; it has to have the right degree of surface roughness/reflectivity etc. depending
on whether it's a mechanical ball, or optical.
Now, from BorgCo, comes SprayMat - a unique closed-cell-microfoam self levelling compound. Simply give the can a good shake and spray it for a few seconds at any reasonably horizontal surface. The resulting puddle of goo will spread, level, form a skin, swell slightly and then set hard. Within seconds you will have a clean, flat mouse friendly platform, pretty much independant of the substrate as long as it's solid and between 0 and 50 C.
Due to the incorporation of a special anti-stick additive, after use the "mat" can simply be peeled off and discarded, re-used at another location, burnt, or shredded and then boiled with offal and carpet sweepings to produce a malodorous foul-tasting slightly toxic slurry, which is actually rather nicer and certainly more nutritious than the offerings of many franchised fast-food outlets.
DISCLAIMER: Do not inhale vapours. Do not spray near naked flame. Do not spray in areas where surface temperatures may exceed 35C. Do not allow to contact the eyes. If the liquid product is ingested, do not induce vomiting - call an undertaker and explain that no embalming fluid will be necessary. Do not puncture can, even when apparently empty. Do not subject even empty cans to mechanical or thermal shock. Dispose of used container safely (Consult local regulations for details, especially those which discuss geological repositories for persistant chemical weapons and nuclear waste). Keep out of the reach of children. Do not expose can to direct sunlight, excessive cold, sudden changes in pressure, or media attention. Read all product instructions and make a valid will before use. Not to be taken internally. Do not attempt to transport the product across State or National boundaries. Do not send by regular mail or courier. Excessive (i.e. any) exposure to this product may cause drowsiness, nausea, muscle spasms, blurred vision, headaches, memory loss, hyperventilation, tinnitus, memory loss, hair loss, memory loss, uncontrollable drooling and flatulence, memory loss, convulsions, memory loss, memory loss, and death. If affected, do not drive or operate machinery.
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Annotation:
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Innovative and rife with potential for misuse, but I use a
wireless laser mouse, which works fine on virtually any flat
surface (although it probably wouldn't play well with a
mirror). Earlier tonight I was using this month's issue of
Playboy as a mouse pad. |
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Funny thing about the Internet; it's made “I read
Playboy for the articles” plausible, if not likely. |
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So, memory loss but not hair loss? Interesting... If
you spray it upon it your balding pate will it make you
more level-headed? |
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I had exactly this problem last night. In a cruel twist,
the cause was the varnish that I had lovingly applied
to the counter some time ago. The solution was a
brown paper bag (sans porno). |
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It seems that the killer for both optical and
mechanical mouses is gloss, rather than albedo; for
example, LED mouses work well on both dark and
white plain paper, but less well on highly glossy
paper of any shade. |
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At last! a mat for my spray-on mouse. |
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That's why I used the example of the magazine; it has a
glossy cover, but it didn't effect the performance of my
optical mouse. I must have a mouse of exceptional quality. |
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