Nothing spoils an evening out with friends like a pesky case of Spontaneous Human Combustion.
What to do?
GROGco fire protection engineers, in cooperation with the Lloyds of Liverwurst Insurance Company, have devised the perfect answer for your party planning pleasure!
Simply have each guest
don the GROGco Spontaneous Human Combustion Extinguishing Hat and strap on the handy Halon Backpack, and they're ready for hours of dining and dancing debauchery.
At the first sign of trouble, the hat will spray a continuous jet of Halon down around the wearer that will envelop them in a protective cocoon of oxygen free gas. As the other guests look on in abject horror, you can rest assured any other nearby sources of ignition remain refreshingly fire free.
Note: To avoid false alarms, steer clear of the flambe.